I 37f have two teenage sons, co-parent well and have a happy life with a busy full time job. Have been in what I hate to admit has been a situationship for near on three years on and off with a M39. Hes kind, a great father to his children, he works. He has made a big thing about us becoming official, to see where it goes. However, I find it a little boring, all he talks about is is job, how stressed he is and how tired he is. He talks a lot. I am starting to think we are not compatible except in one department. If we go out he will tell me not to dress up as he can’t be bothered. He’s never seen me dressed up. He doesn’t hug or kiss me when I meet up with him, it’s straight into talking about his day. He shows zero affection unless he wants intimacy. He forgot my birthday last year, he did also forget his dad’s birthday too. I asked him when my birthday was and he said the wrong date. I can’t seem to connect with him emotionally. If the teens are at their dads I will invite him round he won’t stay over, which is fine but he seems to pull back after he has been to my house. He said if I don’t send him a message then he automatically thinks FCUK her! I have had to tell him I am busy sometimes with work but I will respond when I am free. He refers back to his marriage which ended with his ex wife cheating on him. Every time we meet up his ex gets bought up. I have addressed the issue of him pulling back and he said he is aware that he pulls back that’s something he needs to work on. For context he has been divorced for 5 years roughly. I feel I have wasted time unnecessarily. If i hold his hand he tenses up, he seems very uncomfortable, so i just don’t now. I am feeling very confused about this as he said i should know he likes me. If we drift apart which we have over the years which I stated it’s been on and off, he always pops back up, I don’t think he’s a bad person but I also feel very confused as i have never felt like this with any other partner before.