Is this normal behaviour from mother in law?

[EvePearl]

We live round the corner from my in laws. We have 3 young boys. Husbands brother from few hours away with their 2 kids came to stay with in laws. I didn't have a single message or call from mil the whole time they were here.
husbands brother and his wife and kids came to ours to meet new baby and to catch up but wouldn't eat anything at ours because husbands mother was making brunch . We hadn't been invited, they'd done dinners and caught up with other sister at their parents- we weren't invited to a single thing.
as soon as they're gone mil messages me to ask me if I need any help with the boys this week. Do I just reply and say thank you and be glad of help or do I say something about not being invited to a anything?
thud happens whenever their up - dinners to Ivy we weren't invited to in the past etc
my family is very inclusive so not sure how to manage this
any help much appreciated

Of course they are making brunch etc for them , they live far away!
To invite you lot as well is making it into a bigger event
I do think you are overthinking this.
Accept the help on offer

I know in laws cam be tricky and have favourites it seems but in this case I would maybe model the behaviour you want to see from her. So maybe invite her for brunch occasionally and when your bil and wife are in town propose a whole family get together at yours or at a restaurant. Then when you're in the space with everyone you'll know the dynamics and be able to read things a bit better. Or you could just say next time bil are in town let's all do something together I think it will be nice for kids to see everyone together.

If you need they help accept. If you don’t say no I’m good thanks!

Sounds normal to.me. she had a houseful and was focussed on them. When they go it's back to normal life. Don't make problems that don't exist.

@EvePearl
If your kids are "totally feral" as you say then probably that's why.
Maybe over time as they grow up she'll be more comfortable spending time with them.

What stopped you or your husband arranging something for your family, your BILs family, and your PILs to do together? Maybe somewhere neutral, and somewhere the kids can run off a bit of steam if yours are feral. If that were my or DH's family someone would have just put a message in the family chat proposing a day out at the lido with a picnic, or a trip to the zoo, or even just an hour at the playground followed by a pub lunch or something. Do you need to be invited to theirs?

She sounds like Amanda’s mum in Motherland!