Is this abuse / gaslighting ?

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Partner starts a conversation about a topic - making a fairly big family decision. I am on board with decision but there is some risk involved potentially later down the line.

Somehow partner has now flipped this that it’s a stupid idea, which was also my idea (?), and then obviously dragged a whole load of history into the mix that’s not remotely part of life or the conversation!

sorry I’m being really vague but struggling with anonymity as I know partner is also on this site.
anyone help me? Happy to talk? :’(

Obviously this is one recent incident. But it’s mostly where partner always swaps out opinions to make me the instigator of wrong decisions.

maybe it’s a character flaw. Or is this normal?

Anybody :’(

No, it's not normal! You know it's not really, but your partner has made you unsure of yourself.

You’re right. I am very unsure. I am very laid back and normally just don’t even entertain making big decisions. But this is directly a me choice.
im left so deflated and now partner has sent a message with a lot of ‘It’s over’. Confused

It sounds like you are better off out of it, their mind games will just keep you miserable!

It’s so hard to walk away.
I would be leaving the children in their care and that worries me more than how my situation would be (homeless, no family to help, no where to stay, no where I could see my children in a safe home environment)! :’(

Can you give Women's Aid a call? They might be able to help advise you about the best way forward?

I will try them too.
I am in the phone to Samaritans now to talk to someone about it all.

Maybe I am better off out of it all

Better off out of the relationship, yes, to a happier life in the long run x