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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I really need help deciding what to do

3 replies

idkkkkkk · 10/08/2025 14:54

My boyfriend (M21) and i've (F20) been together for almost seven months, and recently we had to go long distance because of summer break. We both go to the same college and our classes end and start at the same date. My family is in another city in our summerhouse 3 hours away from where college is, but his hometown is the same city so he stays there for the whole year. I knew we'd be long distance in the summer so i planned in advance to tell my parents i had more exams after the finals so that i'd be able to stay in the city for an extra week to see him more. The reason why i lied is because my parents dont know about him, which is also the reason why i wouldn't be able to go visit him once i went back to my hometown. Due to circumstances out of our control we couldnt see each other during that week, he had to go abroad and i stayed there alone. Anyways, the last time we saw each other was july 11, we fought once after a week or so because he forgot about texting me for a few days because he was with his friends. I explained that i always text and call him no matter where i am, and him being okay with not hearing from me for such a long time was a problem for me since it's literally the easiest thing to send a text. And we eventually made up. During the fight he said he would come visit me and explain himself to me. But i guess because we made up, he didn't bother coming. I don't wanna tell him to come visit me because then i think he'll come because i wanted him to, not because he truly misses me. I know it sounds like i'm expecting him to read my mind, but i actually communicate every other problem i have, and i'm not sure if i can keep begging him to pay attention to me and make effort like i do, since wanting to see your gf is the bare minimum. And i think i've done my part by staying there even though it was pretty hard for me, and he knew that. If we dont meet up in the summer we'll see each other on september 15. I've been considering breaking up because i feel worthless. What do you think i should do?

OP posts:
NuffSaidSam · 10/08/2025 14:58

Grow up, would be my first piece of advice.

You're 20, not 14!

You can travel where you want, when you want. There is no need to not see each other for the whole summer.

If he isn't giving you want you need, break up. Life is too short and you're too young to be in any relationship that isn't making you happy. Aim for zero drama, you'll have a much nicer life.

DiscoBob · 10/08/2025 14:59

Yeah, break up with him. It's not making you happy and you're saying you feel worthless.

Why do you have to keep your relationship secret from your parents? That in itself is a recipe for disaster if you're wanting to go long term. They'll find out surely at some point and then be annoyed you lied? Not that they should have any control over who you date.

On a side note, your punctuation is terrible so your OP is extremely difficult to follow.

BunniB · 10/08/2025 18:02

Break up, you are both young and he sounds like the kind of fish you need to throw back in the sea. Hope the next one you catch is a better match

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