I feel so sorry for her.
a bit of back story if you have the time to read.
lived with her dad from the age of 7 (he lives about 5 hours away up north) because I was not in a good place , I was struggling financially and mentally.
fast forward to now I have my career , house, a new baby, doing good.
anyway. She now lives with me, has done since April. She chose to live here because of the parental alienation that was going on, and the control issues he had.
for the years that she was there I was never sent pictures, school reports, I was spoken to like a dog. When heavily pregnant he made me drive all the way up north as he refused to take her half way so that she could go to my brothers wedding. He would check her conversations from me and question her. He would not let her talk about me or get excited over her new little baby sister who was on the way at the time. He openly told her I gave her up even though she was still visiting me in the holidays, albeit she was only ever allowed a week, two weeks max with me. This was not done through courts it was a mutual agreement for her to live there with him whilst I sorted myself out and got through uni. He couldn’t co parent. I’d have to call his dad to speak about dates. Dates were not given to me until last minute (I’m talking the day before) so I never knew when I was next seeing her. She had become cold and detached towards me and said it didn’t really feel as though I was her mum. Her dad put a post on Facebook that I saw by having a sneak, saying happy Mother’s Day to his wife, saying I couldn’t ask for a better MUM for “our daughter’s name”. He was abusive to me verbally. Told me it wasn’t his fault I decided to have another baby so I’d best come pick our daughter up all the way or I won’t see her at all. Used to threaten me that I’d never see her again because he knew he was so far away I would panic and becom anxiety ridden.
I can’t tell you how wonderful it is to have my daughter back and to be rebuilding that bond. I’ve got her in to a beautiful school up the road from where I work. She is bonding with her baby sister and it is just gorgeous. However he has turned his back on her. He said to her if she doesn’t come home he wants nothing to do with her and that I’m a crazy psycho filling her head with crap. He called me a prostitute on the phone to her aswell. She said she wanted to stay with me but still see him and speak to him but he won’t and hasn’t spoken to her since April. He has gone to social services claiming I am a sex worker and that I haven’t got her into a school or been trying (I was trying and have now sorted)
she’s heart broken. Absolutely heart broken. She said she wants to hurt herself a few weeks ago and it frightened the life out of me. She has vivid dreams, she misses her nan and grandad so much. None of them up there have so much as called the girl to ask if she is ok. It’s sickening.
im going to refer her to mental health team at school when she starts in sep. she’s just been to stay with her friend up north for two weeks which she loved and NEEDED! And I’ve booked us a holiday next year me her, partner and baby sister.
is there anything else I can do for her? That man is pure evil…..
i forgot to add he did actually contact her the other day to tell her that her uncle had died of cancer last week. She replied “I’m so sorry, was he in any pain when he died :( “ he replied “yes he was” and I went mental and told him to stop messaging our daughter as I know from my career that people dying of cancer do not die in pain they have comfort care and even if he did die in pain, who says that to a young girl who is already so sad????
thank you so much for reading if you got this far