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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Friends not lovers

1 reply

TuxedoCat59 · 08/08/2025 23:28

I dated a guy for several years and slowly realised because of his autistic traits he would never satisfy me in a loving romantic relationship. I called time on our plans to live together and we are both just good friends now who still holiday together and see each other regularly and because of his autism I support him a great deal in coping with life ..like helping him buy a house and move cities, Cope with IT online /everything etc
Recently he has started looking at dating sites and wants another romantic relationship . He is 66 I am 62 . I’m actually currently very happy with all my female friends and him as a good friend but he wants someone special again. I’ve realised however that he is disparaging and downplaying the times we spend together in order to woo a new woman in the online conversations he is having .im not sure how to feel. Glad he is spreading his wings ? miffed that he is being two faced ? Angry or even betrayed?
should I just accept this is natural or should I draw back from our friendship ?
im not sure if I’m jealous or disappointed. The irony is it was me who got him online and savvy enough to start all this !

OP posts:
RentalWoesNotFun · 08/08/2025 23:34

Just be happy for him if he meets someone nice. Just like you would for a female friend. He probably doesn’t realise how much you do for him but if he’s a good person he won’t be meaning to under appreciate you.

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