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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Distant partner

2 replies

Everestisthebest · 08/08/2025 21:25

I would love some perspective from others as I really have no one else to talk about it with. My partner and I have been together 10 years, 2 children 5 and 3. I was very sick after my last pregnancy which meant my partner had to help out a lot more than usual. I am slowly but surely getting some normality back but I still very much struggle with my energy levels, pain levels etc. My partner works an extra day from home to help me out as otherwise I wouldn't be able to make it through the day. I am sahm. Neither of us have any hobbies currently. He has a lot of interests but doesn't pursue them and I haven't had the energy to do mine meaning neither of us really get time to ourselves.

Anyway I jjst wanted to say all this as a background as I have been feeling worried about our relationship. My partner has become increasingly distant with me despite me doing my absolute best. I take care of all the mental load of the house, children, appointments, activities, friends and do all cleaning. We share cooking but mostly me. I have been doing everything to look after myself, investigating my health concerns and advocating for myself, intensive therapy for cptsd..

He talks a bit about this girl from work, I don't know why but I looked her up on social media and she's just basically the complete opposite to me brunette, bubbly, outgoing etc etc. I'm worried that he has lot attraction to me because of all my health issues and him having to take on more to help me. I have tried to speak to him about it but he denies anything but he is definitely distant. Minimal physical affection. Any thoughts anyone?

OP posts:
Rayqueen · 09/08/2025 02:00

Ever occurred to you he is distant also because he is exhausted physically and emotionally, I hate the fact some jump into it means they must be doing something. You've both been thru a hard time recently men deal very differently with exhaustion and stress don't jump into something that it probably isn't

Enrichetta · 09/08/2025 02:03

You are a SAHM. Ut you are not married? You have made yourself very vulnerable.

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