Am I being selfish

[LilmissJean]

Need to rant -
Me and my partner have just moved from our own flats to a new house. Which moving is stressful anyway, but I’ve also had to move with my 9 month old.
My partner is constantly having a go at me saying I’m selfish and do nothing for him because I “didn’t help him clean his room” that he was renting. But I got my mum to watch my daughter got the rest of the things from my flat with his help then went to his and baring in mind it’s just a room so I cleaned the window ledge, the dresser, the bed frame, the bedside table and the sink. I started to take photographs down and then looked at the time as I had a dining table being delivered and couldn’t expect my mum to deal with that and watch the baby. He said I could go and I asked if he was sure 3 times before I left. But now I take take and give nothing back apparently.
So now I just don’t want to do anything for him so he realised what I do.
any advice? Kicking to the curb is a option at this rate 😂

Is he your babies dad? That makes a difference to what I'd say next!

You have a nine month old and think it’s a good idea to move in with a new partner?

Why, exactly? 🙄

Let me get this straight.
You have a 9 month old daughter, your references to 'my daughter' and not 'our daughter' makes it clear she is not his.
Thus your relationship is quite new.
So why on earth are you a) moving in with someone you barely know, b) moving him into your home with a dependant infant unrelated to him (massive risk of harm to infant, statistically speaking).
He's clearly a massive immature bellend and will be treating you like a maid.

I'd be telling him it was all a big mistake today.

Just for clarification her biological dad died before she was born. And my partner has been there from the beginning and was amazing to stepping up and taking us now. But now is acting like this

I’m sorry for your loss, but moving in with his man would be an absolutely awful idea.

Well now you are seeing the real him. Time to part ways now.

Don't move in with him. You don't need a petulant second child.

You don't know him, you only know his 'knight on a white charger' persona. He's showing who he really is now he has you 'trapped' into living together.

Abusers always choose vulnerable victims, and you got into a relationship with him at a VERY vulnerable time. Slow down and see who he really is before you go any further. I guarantee you won't like what you see.

He sounds horrible.

This is someone you have been with for a maximum of 17 months, probably more like a year or so. With the best will in the world this is not a good plan.

Get shot of him asap

I'd say it's a shame you've moved in with him, he's now showing his true colours! Why is it your job to help clean his room? Tell the lazy fucker to do it himself! Did he help clean your room before you moved?

You must have had a very difficult time OP dealing with loss and pregnancy and birth.
You were obviously very vulnerable.
And as pp have said some men latch on to vulnerable women.
I think you are now finding out what he is really like. Moving in with him is not a good idea. Put your child's and your own interests as the priority.

This.

Why is he expecting you to clean up after him? tell him to fuck off

Kick him to the curb.

What do you mean he was amazing stepping up and taking you? What exactly did he do?

My partner is constantly having a go at me saying I’m selfish and do nothing for him

How long out of the 17 months you've been with him has he been 'amazing' and how long has he been 'constantly having a go at you'?

Are you renting or have you bought a house?

Did he help you clean your flat/room when you moved out of it?

You should take some time out to be single. I don’t think jumping into moving in with a new boyfriend is a good idea, a year after your boyfriend/baby daddy died and while still so new to motherhood. Have you had therapy / processed the loss?

Not sure what you mean by “stepping and taking us”. Women do not get passed from one man to another, they can live independently now.

Wow you sound as if you should be grateful he took you on.. Such an awful phrase

My dh said he felt privileged to join our family. Not as if he was doing me a favour.
Ltb before it's too late op. .

Christ. He is already showing his true colours. Move back out again asap. He's going to be demanding that you prioritise his wants over the baby's needs. Stuff that for a game of soldiers.

You moved way too fast and rushed a relationship with a guy who treats you like a bangmaid.

Leave. Stay with family if you need to. He is moving in and already showing he thinks you're there to do his work and is already berating you. Abusers deliberately go after vulnerable women.

Get therapy to deal with your loss and concentrate on you and your baby for a year or two before getting into a new relationship.

Tell him that you don't think living together is going to work out. Whats the deal of the house you've moved into? Is it in both your names?

At the least it light trigger a proper adult conversation about working as a team.

Forever with no man is light years better than living with this awful twat.