For context we are all gay women in our 30s.
I have been with my girlfriend for 2 years, we have a lovely relationship for the most part
3 years ago I had 2 dates with another woman, nothing more happened, she asked to meet again but I wasn’t really feeling a romantic spark and she was fine with that. This woman runs a group locally.
My partner said recently she wanted to join this group and I said I knew the woman who organises it. She asked how I know her and I said we had 2 dates 3 years ago.
a week or so later my girlfriend asks to talk. She said she can’t get this out of her head and wanted to know if I’ve had any contact with this woman during our relationship. I said we’re friends on social media and I think we exchanged the odd message on instagram. I looked and I could see we have replied to each others stories around 6 times in the past 3 years (e.g she got a new job and I said well done, she replied to a holiday asking where that beach was and another time or 2 I asked about the group)
my girlfriend has taken this so badly. Said she feels totally betrayed and I’ve broken her trust. She didn’t know I was talking to another women “behind her back” and that I should have told her this. Obviously I was hiding something or I would have mentioned it before now. I have literally nothing to hide about this. I told her as necessary, when it came up about the group because I thought it best she know especially if they’re going to be at the same event.
i am really struggling to entertain this reaction at all. I’ve apologised that she’s hurt by this and explained that there is nothing romantic at all and what I can keep friends like this and she should trust me to make sensible decisions. I’ve asked her what her boundaries are in this scenario but she hasn’t said. I have never cheated in my life. I’m struggling that she is making out it’s a huge betrayal and that I’ve broken her trust.
what do you think? I know it sounds so juvenile but she is annoyed that I’m not on the same page as her and how hurt she is