Discovered BF porn use

[Joanneollie]

I saw his history of my BFwatching videos of girls playing with themselves online, and also the sabrina carpenter lewd page.(upskirt pics nipple slips that kinda thing ) I saw his reddit history 😐
We have been together for 2 years 'M 37' ' F 40 'but dont live together, so he always gets to spend a couple of nights to himself. Ive always stated that I wouldn't be comfortable with him watching porn in a relationship, and he agreed he said hes never been " into it" and asked me not to do the same, which I never have. He as videos and pictures of me he can use, but I feel devastated he chose to use the other adult content. I dont know how long it's been going on, maybe the duration of our relationship. Hes beautiful to me and loves me, and tells me every day I am his world, and how beautiful I am, inside and out.
It has really effected me mentally, ive not slept, or ate anything for a few days, and ive not been able to go to work. I have asked him to give me space to think about if I want to carry on the relationship or not, but I dont think I can. I didn't think for one moment he would do this behind my back, and I now feel like I am not enough for him. Am I being unreasonable for wanting out?

No. I’d leave too. But many would say it’s normal and you should let it slide. I’d just feel so worried and grossed out. I’m anti porn in every way so would mean we aren’t compatible.

He probably has been doing it the whole time, a lot of men do. He won’t stop either. It doesn’t mean you aren’t enough for him. Whichever way you look at it, he’s betrayed your trust.

If you can’t get over it then obviously leave the relationship. If you remain in the relationship, just know that he’s comfortable lying to you about it and will just get better at hiding his tracks.

Just bear in mind that statistically a lot of men (if not most men) watch it, and many will lie about it, so you may just find that you have this problem again and again.

When we go looking, we find things that our hearts would rather we didn’t know about

Id much rather know than live in a lie x

Many would say it's normal, but I'd hope that wouldn't include lying about it!
He had the chance to end things and find one of those many if it was that important to him, but instead he chose to lie and make out like he was someone he is not. That would be why I walked away more than the porn itself!

I think you’re being a bit dramatic about it but it’s your relationship so if that’s what you feel you need to do then obviously you need to do that. But a word of advice I guess - if you state at the start of a relationship that you don’t want your partner looking at porn then a lot will tell you what you want to hear. If he had said “ well actually I like to watch every now and again” what would you have done?

I think you’re being a bit dramatic about it but it’s your relationship so if that’s what you feel you need to do then obviously you need to do that. But a word of advice I guess - if you state at the start of a relationship that you don’t want your partner looking at porn then a lot will tell you what you want to hear. If he had said “ well actually I like to watch every now and again” what would you have done?

Sorry for the double post - I’m abroad with ropey WiFi

https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/relationships/5378730-partner-wont-stop-lusting-over-women?utm_campaign=thread&utm_medium=app_share

similar thread to this. If you have boundaries and this is a game changer. Leave. You aren’t going to stop a man masturbating to porn, how do you expect to police it.

You went snooping, you found what you didn’t want to find. Massive invasion of privacy.

I would have decided we are not compatible, hes not give me that chance

Well I don’t think many men would own up once you’ve established you don’t like it - they’ll just keep their head down. Sorry that your relationship is ending in this way.

I found exactly what I needed to find. My peace of mind, and proof hes a liar . Invasion of privacy or not. It was worth it

I think you're totally within your rights to say that porn is unacceptable in a relationship with you. I also think that deceiving one's partner in the way that he did is unacceptable too.

Early in my relationship with my girlfriend (now wife) I asked her whether she was against porn and I offered never to watch it if she had an issue with it. (She actually replied that she didn't care.) I think it's good for people to have this conversation early on, and I think it's shitty if someone lies about their intentions just to try to get into a relationship with someone who wouldn't want to be with them if they knew the truth.