Dating Site/Apps recommendations

[Harvey78]

Hi all,

I'm a man in my mid-40s, recently divorced and thinking about getting back out there again. I’ve been single for a couple of years and feel like it's time to start meeting people – whether that’s something casual, regular, or possibly long-term down the line. I’m not in a rush to dive into a serious relationship just yet, but I’m open to seeing where things go.

I’ve tried a few dating apps like Tinder and Bumble, and while I’ve had some matches, conversations tend to fizzle out pretty quickly or they live too far. I also gave a few of the more casual FWB-type sites a go, but they were full of scammers or women asking for money, which was a big red flag. On top of that, those sites charge extortionate fees just to message someone – it all felt a bit dodgy, to be honest and didn't feel genuine

I’ve seen some posts on here mentioning POF, Match, OKCupid, and OLD – are these still decent options? for Casual, Regular and serious relationship. I dont even mnd something casual as in FWB.

I live in London, so I’m open to meeting people locally or not too far, and ideally just going on a few dates to ease back into things. After being in a long, unhappy marriage, I’m trying to avoid rushing into anything too intense, but I do want to meet someone I connect with – even if it's just for the short term.

I’d appreciate some advice from the women on here as in what site have you joined and that has worked? And if there are any men around who’ve had success and can share some tips

Just relised OLD, stands for Online Dating lol I thought it was an app 😆

I’ve been on Match, POF and OKCupid.
Never tried any others.
I went on dates with people on all 3 sites but found relationships which lasted from POF & OK Cupid.
I only paid for Match and used the other 2 for free.
There seemed to be plenty of people on all 3. It’s worth trying them for free before you pay.
Im in a different area to you but I had more d*ck pics (not something you’ll need to worry about) and scammers on POF so that was my least favourite.
Good luck,

Tinder and Bumble will give you the most matches. Many woman will be put off by your clear rebound approach which will be interpreted as just looking for casual sex until something better comes along. That's probably why the messages have fizzled out.

I’m in a similar boat, open to something like FWB and just seeing where things go, without rushing.

I’ve found apps can be a bit draining and creepy, but it may be different for you as a man.
I’ve joined a few local clubs and hobby groups instead and it’s been a way better experience than OLD as it’s a more natural way to meet people. Honestly, I’d recommend giving it a try. It takes the pressure off and you never know who you might click with.

Good luck, you’re definitely not alone in this!

@Needpatience Thanks for the recommendation.Thats the 3 I havent tried so I'll give it ago. I think the d*ick pics is just some guys and all sites have that. As women I have spoken to say the same thing. However I think we all get the fair share of people who just want to waste time.

@DropOfffArtiste I'll be honest, I dont mention anything about my past and just mention that it didnt work out when asked. But with Tinder and Bumble its like you swipping forever lol.. Even the ones you think I should have a chance dont message. Then I start questioning to myself is it me or is it how i look lol.. The thing I have noticed on that is that if you subsrcibe for premium and pay the add on then you get responses like priviate messages. But i reckon is becaseu woment get so many likes that its gets lost in the list of likes they get. So that why I was thiniking what site do women like and it suits them better.

@everythingblows that is proably the best approach. I just have to build up the coverage and get out of my comfort zone. I was thinking also joining the solo trip groups and start going on trips myself. I was thiking joining them groups is better than going alone. I have to see what I am intersted in to join a local group. Thanks for the advice and good luck with your search. If you in london then we can chat over a drink and talk about our experiences

Go on the Meet-Up website I’m sure you’ll find something you’d enjoy.
I am in London actually, the first group I joined, quite a few of them as me it was their first time also, which helped!

Thanks for sharing, just checked it out now. It looks quite good didn't know their was a site like this. Its even got singles events. Might check these out. I guess its a way of meeting and can make friends too.

I’d stop saying that you are open to something casual, regular or long-term later down the line. Just say why you are looking for now. I’d see it as a massive red-flag if someone said they were open to all three.

If I were looking for something casual I’d think there was a risk you’d get to intense.

if I were looking for something long-term I’d think you weren’t serious, but dangling that carrot to open up your options.

POF - nope. Tinder - meh. I liked Hinge the best of the free apps. Also - make sure you have something in common with who you swipe on. Hate it when my profile clearly states I am over 40, and I have kids, and a man’s profile says no women over 40, no kids etc. Means you were just blind swiping.