Cant find a serious partner

[Katlover000]

Hello ladies
Im recently 30
Ive been struggling all my life to meet nice people, I always end up with toxic friends, abusive men, used and then dumped for a model looking person
I do keep up with my appearance but im no model
I dont seem to get any interest from
men alot of the time or if I do its after one thing
Im at an age now where I want to settle down with a husband honestly but it seems im not the standard for this?
Im a size 10 roughly 8.5 stone but I have my problem areas and am not in shape to explain not muscled etc, I do my hair and makeup and try and dress nicely
job wise Ive been a beauty therapist for ages but am looking for a change so fingers crossed I can find something new soon
im left feeling that Im not really ‘relationship material’ which is honestly a really, really crushing feeling and I cant help but feel its my appearance or that my face is ugly, im not a model, its my job or something but Im
just not at the ‘standard’ which is deeply hurtful
Ive found that someone i used to be casual with found a happy relationship and I did feel a bit hurt honestly Im not sure why…but I just dont feel good enough.
currently I dont drive but am fully independent, in work ive done beauty therapy for people who are in relationships etc and its hard to see others so easily find someone….also a few friends certainly have never said anything about me being ugly or not up to the standard
any advice would be really appreciated
thankyou all

It could be the dating pool where you are looking, if you keep finding the creeps. I know about ten years back I had a few short relationships from dating sites and the guys were problematic shall we say, recently divorced, going through divorce, players afraid of commitment, etc.

I'm sure there is absolutely nothing wrong with you and you're just feeling demoralised and putting yourself under too much pressure to find someone. Are your friends all attached so you think you should be, too?

I speak from experience by the way. I trawled the dating sites for about 5 years with no success. It was the pits I felt I was getting nowhere. Then in the end I "met" my guy on Facebook. Just a random add, a guy I used to be at school with. Ten years on, 1 kid and a mortgage and still good. Don't lose hope just look at what you can change.

Im finding it hard to meet the right person. I’m a single dad of four kids two live with me and I’m looking for a serious relationship with someone loyal, honest, and who wants to build something real together. I haven’t had much luck on dating sites, where am i going wrong i feel undateable 🫣😣

OP your post is very difficult to read as there is a lack of full stops and the formatting is all over the place.

According to the Burned Haystack method poor grammar is an immediate red flag.

If your dating profile is similar then people will be advised to immediately block and you'll be left with less desirable options.

Dont be a dick

I genuinely think just getting out and
meeting new people ‘out in the wild’ is best.

At least that’s from my past experience…

The reality is that the amount of decent, age appropriate men who are looking for a relationship is absolutely tiny. So it is going to feel like an impossible task. I’m 35 but I like being single so I don’t actively date - I have in the past though.

I would advise instantly blocking the creeps though the first time sex is mentioned or if someone is a bit weird. You’ll block lots people but those people are a waste of time anyway.

I didn't get my first relationship until I was thirty. Due to several things, being extremely shy, not putting myself out there and having been told when I was younger that I was ugly (by males). I eventually went on a number of blind dates (no internet then!)and met my first partner. It was terrifying but I did it and proved to myself that I could.

Your post is SO focused on appearance. What else do you have to offer? What on earth is this talk of being ‘of standard’?

Sadly, I agree with you.

As a Male, if I look around at my mates and peripheral friends in that age bracket then the ‘decent’ ones are all married or are in long term relationships. The ones who aren’t are the unreliable ones with little aspirations or interests (other than drinking or partying).

There’s a couple of exceptions but those ones aren’t actively looking and are tired of doing the dating apps.

I'm not the one who invented these sets of rules.

Poor grammar really affects one's chances on dating apps.

The problem with so many men nowadays is the they spend a lot of time doom scrolling on social media looking at fetishized content creators served up to them by algorithms designed to maximise engagement which typically leads to endless streams of hyper sexualised content of young size 4 women.

So, very many men are essentially trained to associate the appearance of a glowed up 23 year old as "feminine" and anything else as "the rest". Combine this to the toxicity that is OLD, which is purely an aesthetic commodification of humans, and these guys think they don't want to "settle" for anything less than the size 4 influencer - but they won't say no to a shag.

As other posters suggested, try to meet someone in real life as the whole online thing is a cesspit that just leads to disappointment, deception, and burnout.

This was a few months ago, OP is probably coupled up now