Feeling so sad!

[FluentTealEagle]

My husband has been working away for a few weeks (staying at my parents house) - last week 2 of our children went to stay with them and I was due to collect them on the Friday evening.

My Husband texted in the day to suggest I didn't come but I still did and he seemed to try and start an argument at any cost after that sending a lot of messages while I was driving.

In the end my dad met me halfway - and my husband went out for the night returning to my parents house around 4am - this morning I have seen a picture of him on the social media page of a nightclub local to that area looks like he is dancing with a girl.

We are in our 30's with 3 kids I just feel soo down about the whole thing, he came home Saturday night and said he'd been to a casino on the Friday (There isn't a casino in that town) and we had a nice day out on Sunday. He said I went out as I had annoyed him on Friday.

I'm dreading finishing work today and just feel soo sad about the whole thing - we are going away on Saturday as a family and have been really looking forward to it!

Back to your paragraph 2 - why did he tell you not to come as planned? How come your dad met you half way? How did this lead to your husband going to a nightclub? So many questions!

This all sounds very strange and seems to be missing a lot of details.

Who is the woman he was dancing with and what are you going to do about it?
Why was he staying at your parents?
Why didn't he want you at your parent's house and why did your dad meet you half way? What's the relationship with your parents like?
Why was he trying to stop you seeing the kids and picking them up?

Sorry OP but to me it sounds like he had plans to meet this woman and that's why he didn't want you coming through OP.
I'm sorry but it sounds as though he has checked out of your marriage.

He has been staying at my parents as he is a builder and they need building work done.

My dad met me half way as my husband started to hang up on me after he claimed I was rude on the phone which confused me. And it's a long drive for me to do there and back in one evening.

He has been home since but hasn't been honest about what has happened - the picture clearly shows a girl in his arms (not just dancing next to her chin is on hear head and arm around her) and he's claiming i'm crazy, and just talking in circles as to what happened.

His claim is nothing at all has happened he shouldn't have gone out and i'm overreacting but I can't shake a feeling of being punched in the guts since, struggling with work and everything.

He has gone back to my parents to work this week, we are going away on Saturday and i'm finding it hard to talk to him at all and now dreading the trip overall.

He has disappeared a few times before at night after we have fallen out and I always thought it was just for space but now I just feel sick thinking about him.
I know the girl must be 18 to be in a nightclub but she doesn't look much older than our 13 year old daughter.

Sounds like he’s using this time away to be a single man pretending he doesn’t have the responsibilities of a dad of three. It’s selfish and immature. His lack of transparency and the fact he orchestrated the whole thing so he could go out shows he’s not trustworthy. How would he feel if you had done the same and there was a photo of a man wrapped around you on social media. I doubt he would think it was nothing. He is being dismissive precisely because he has something to hide. He knows it’s a big deal but is trying to gaslight you into thinking you are overreacting because it’s in his interests to do so. Personally I wouldn’t be able to pretend that this hasn’t happened.

Wow, that takes some nerve to do that to you while staying at your parent's house - how can he look them in the eye??

Do your parents know?

Did your dad meet you halfway to hand over the dc?
It does sound as though he has checked out. I’m sorry.

He has a daughter himself. How would he feel if his daughter's husband was dancing in the arms of another woman while staying at his house?
He sounds like a selfish git to be honest, OP

Eww the age of her sounds so gross, wtf is wrong with him?

Ahh - I saw his google pay and looks like he brought something out of the toilet vending machine at just gone 3am for £2.

Dreading him coming home tomorrow - can't sleep or eat at all! Hate the thought of our family breaking up and not having the kids at home half the time but also can't see how to stay with him now.

The fact that he’s calling you crazy when you’re confronting him with hard evidence is so telling. He’s desperately trying to gaslight and confuse you so you doubt your gut.
It truly does sound like he cheated on you from
what you’ve said. If he was innocent, he’d be desperately trying to prove it.