Is my experience of OLD normal?

[FenderStrat]

I am hoping to get some kind of perspective on how things have gone for me in the past four months!
I'm 56 years old and dating again after the death of my partner two years ago.

Is this about what you would expect from OLD in 4 months?

10 actual dates in total. I have not wanted to see them again with six of them, the others haven't wanted to see me again.

Only one date has turned into a second date and then that ended.

I've messaged many people online then had no reply.

I've been messaging several people. And then without warning, they just stopped messaging me.

Getting a little bit despondent to be honest, but not sure if this is just normal for the first 4 months on OLD.

People really have conversations like that? Guess you’ve got to look on the bright side- at least without enough imagination to try to make themselves sound more interesting, they’re auto-filtering themselves out, saving you the trouble!

Or else you get

Me - ‘Hi Jon nice to match with you. Anything planned this weekend?’

Him ‘you’ve got cracking tits love’

Conversation ended and unmatched

Yes very normal. I’m 34, been single 7 years. I have used it on and off. The majority of profiles are just awful tbh - swimming with avoidant types and men who want an ego boost - I won’t be using it anymore, if I meet someone it will be randomly in person someplace.

I’m just getting more and more put off from joining OLD. I don’t think I want to sift through the crappy guys to get to the good ones. Who knows if there are any good ones on there. It genuinely sounds so exhausting.

There does seems to be a lack of 6ft 6 men with six figure bank balances, their own cottage in the Cotswolds, a fleet expensive cars, who “holiday in Malta for three months” at a time, who have one child at the most who is a lawyer in London and can get free tickets to all the West End shows, who’s wife mutually split with him and she now lives in San Fransico and is an actress who has been in four films,

Nowadays, because he’s so minted he retired early and now helps charities raise money. Last year he and his mate Charles climbed Ben Nevis ands raised 20k for the RSPCA. What he dreams of is a women who goes to Bingo twice a week, reads Take A Break and is massively overweight. Naturally he’s got a soft spot for women dressed head to foot in their finest Primark gear.

Its difficult at the moment as three of his Moss Bros suits are at the dry cleaners, but he loves a trip down to the local Wetherspoons for five pints of Summer Fruits followed by a good, old scrap in the kebab shop because “he’s staring at me tits” whilst she burns herself with another Lambert and Butler.

I think i was lucky. My partner and I joined an online dating site, met each other (first date for both of us) and promptly deleted our profiles online as we fell hopelessly in love.

We are in our 50s and I thank my lucky stars daily.

Sounds like you are doing really well to me. It's a hard slog and you have to take regular breaks for your own sanity and really toughen up.

I've been OLD for almost 2 years and in that time I've actually been on dates with 6 men.
One was 3 dates, two were 2 dates and 3 were 1 date.

I think I've matched and opened conversation with over 300 men but it's just the way things play out.
There's a lot of unsuitable people out there and it's tough to wade through but it I've had no better luck in the real world so.

If the success rate is that low, surely the whole thing is a waste of time?

Is it that both men and women just have totally unrealistic expectations and they're just passing on people they should possibly give a chance to

@FenderStrat id say that you have to put yourself out there in some format. Whether that is groups and hobbies or online dating. You have to be open to things if you want to find someone.

I am probably quite picky, but I swipe no if there's no bio, or they have photos of their kids, if they are over x driving time as I am rooted in my location due to kids so if they also have kids and are quite far it's not going to be feesible to do things together and neither is likely to move from their kids.
Many of my conversations end with them asking inappropriate questions, photos or ghosting.
I'll have people I think I'm getting on well with and then they unmatch, others who have cancelled planned dates.
It's just luck and you choose to do it or you don't.

completely normal so strap in

I literally had that conversation an hour ago!!! What is it with these men!

Well I just viewed a woman’s profile that said she wouldn’t leave the house without ‘condoms, lube, femfresh wipes’ 😬
Maybe should put her in touch with your tits man??

One of DS mates, young though at just 21 was messaging about 20 women all at the same time. I asked if he kept a spreadsheet so he didn’t mix them up.

I really hate what happens to the world of dating!

Are you a man or woman?

I'm very late to this chat & also noticed you use non binary pronouns. How is OLD going for you now?
Are you male or female @FenderStrat

My sis tried online dating for a while - a bit older than 21, but she said one of her matches sent such an inexplicable message to her that it was obvious he'd got his 'dates' mixed up.
I'm freshly divorced, and she keeps telling me to give it a go, but frankly her experiences put me off! Maybe I will one day.

Met my partner online. We spoke for a week met exactly a week after initial message and been together 6 months. Im afraid OLD is a numbers game sometimes. Goood luck

After a ltr split I jumped back in on Monday and got inundated , so far I’m met a very wealthy man , however turns out he has a fetish for leather , stockings and long gloves , so if your into that then great , pretty good looking too. Then a few that can’t string a conversation together which is a shame as if they can’t online what chance do they have irl ? It’s pretty grim to the point it made me wonder if I’d made a mistake with my ex who started txt random shit again , it’s so bloody hard to meet normal men these days it really is.