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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Red flags everywhere!

9 replies

Avocadohoho · 03/08/2025 16:06

I’m new into the dating world having recently separated from my DP.

I went to a wedding recently with some friends and met a man there, we chatted for a bit and we kissed. We swapped numbers (regret that one now!), and he proceeded to send me quite a few messages every time I went to the bar saying how great the kiss was and how we had so much in common. He wouldn’t leave me alone, and made me feel very uncomfortable. By the end of the evening he was very drunk and very handsy. So I left.

I then received several more messages over the next few days about how great our connection was, he couldn’t forget our kiss, and that he hoped we would keep seeing each other.

Eventually I sent him a message saying that I wasn’t planning on seeing him again, that I had a lot going on, and didn’t want anything, it was just a bit of fun but I didn’t want to hear from him again. Thankfully we don’t live near each other.

I then received a phone call from a number I didn’t recognise, on answering realised it was him, he thought he would phone for a chat and tell me it was such a shame that he wasn’t going to see me again but understood. I hardly said a word, being as I’d just said to him I didn’t want to hear from him. He then messaged me saying what a lovely chat we’d had (had we?), then I received some more messages this time with him getting more and more pissed off, that I’d led him on (eh?), and we had a connection. He got quite angry at the reasons I gave for not wanting to see him again. He’s now blocked.

Is this dating now? The red flags from this guy and the entitlement! Like I owed him something? Thank the lord he doesn’t know where I live as I genuinely feel a bit scared. It feels very unpleasant, like he was just going to keep trying and wear me down until I said yes.

OP posts:
LittleJustice · 03/08/2025 16:29

No, he just sounds like a nutter. Don't let it put you off. I've been fairly new to dating the past year after coming out of a long relationship and didn't experience anything like this. You've just been unlucky.

Freeflight · 03/08/2025 17:51

I wouldn't say that's usual. I've been "dating" for a while and have so far only come across one or two unhinged men.
The rest havent necessarily always been pleasant experiences, but they've not been scary like that.

DiscoBob · 03/08/2025 17:53

What a wrong 'un! If he's a friend of a friend I'd tell them what he's like as he might not be wanted at gatherings if he pesters women in this bizarre fashion.

KingfishersRUs · 03/08/2025 18:07

Hmmm, looks like you met a Grade A Bell end and had a lucky escape! 🤣

Avocadohoho · 03/08/2025 18:14

DiscoBob · 03/08/2025 17:53

What a wrong 'un! If he's a friend of a friend I'd tell them what he's like as he might not be wanted at gatherings if he pesters women in this bizarre fashion.

Edited

That’s not a bad idea. I might have a chat with the bride and groom when things have settled.

My DP cheated and broke my heart so I don’t have a great view of relationships and am struggling as it is, plus juggling being a mum.

It just all makes me want to stay single forever.

OP posts:
YetanotherNC25 · 03/08/2025 19:27

I’ve had a few like this over the years. It’s not pleasant. Keep blocking and dont engage with any of their nonsense. Sadly that doesn’t stop them. I have one weirdo that calls me from withheld numbers every 6 months or so going back about 8 years. I just deny I know anyone of that name and say he’s got the wrong person now. But it’s irritating.
Be careful who you give your number to. I never even met this guy as his texts were off putting enough, yet he continues.
OLD is a cesspit. You have to be resilient and I CBA right now so I’m not even entertaining it.
You could also meet someone nice, but just keep your wits about you.

DiscoBob · 03/08/2025 19:39

Avocadohoho · 03/08/2025 18:14

That’s not a bad idea. I might have a chat with the bride and groom when things have settled.

My DP cheated and broke my heart so I don’t have a great view of relationships and am struggling as it is, plus juggling being a mum.

It just all makes me want to stay single forever.

It's good to be single rather than deal with blokes like that! X

Avocadohoho · 04/08/2025 21:27

I thought about sending a message telling him exactly why his advances were not wanted and that he clearly had no respect for woman or the word no. But then I thought, what’s the point? He wouldn’t want to hear it or listen.

OP posts:
Germanroadman · 04/08/2025 21:30

Avocadohoho · 04/08/2025 21:27

I thought about sending a message telling him exactly why his advances were not wanted and that he clearly had no respect for woman or the word no. But then I thought, what’s the point? He wouldn’t want to hear it or listen.

Block him on everything instead. He is definitely a wrong ‘un.

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