Enmeshment query

[Concernedpartnercarol]

Hi. Just been forced on a break by my lovely partner of 8 months. Was all going so well until an issue that kept bothering me came to a head. He has 2 girls and when he goes away on breaks he shares a bed with the youngest who is now 24. This has been happening from childhood. Told him it’s not appropriate ( I know it’s innocent etc) but he struggles to tell the daughter he is booking another room/bed. She controls him. Well they both do. He pays them money each month as scared of losing them. He’s had panic attacks recently, does suffer from anxiety.
how do I make this work and deal with it?
thanks so much

Thats absolutely vile. Sorry but it just is not normal nor natural to go out of your way to book a room and share a bed with your 24 year old daughter as a man. Absolutely awful. You have had a lucky escape.

Look up the term miniwife. And then run for the hills and never look back.

This isn’t on his daughter. He is a grown ass man and has been her whole life. It’s not because she’s immature or controlling him. He can say no anytime he wants. He can book the rooms. Surely, his daughter was not booking hotel rooms at 14, 15, 16 when he was normalising this creepy behaviour with her.

I don’t think sharing a sleeping space is inherently problematic. I have a teen and she and Dh regularly go bikepacking and trekking and share a tent, and it’s not weird. He wouldn’t choose to book a hotel room where they shared the same bed (and nor would I). But I don’t buy this, oh poor diddums, he’s just under the finger of his controlling daughter and can’t choose to sleep separately. He’s the parent. Of course, he can. He’s choosing this and that’s creepy. I’d be putting this one right in the bin.

Wow it's really not normal and can't imagine any lad thinking it is either, unless he's scared of her reaction.

My DD and DH went away recently for a gig, separate rooms. If money was tight they would have shared a twin room.

Absolutely no need for sharing a bed like this.

This isn’t on his daughter. He is a grown ass man and has been her whole life. It’s not because she’s immature or controlling him. He can say no anytime he wants. He can book the rooms. Surely, his daughter was not booking hotel rooms at 14, 15, 16 when he was normalising this creepy behaviour with her. @mindutopia

Agree. She's been conditioned (groomed?) to think it's normal. Absolutely not at all.