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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I don't trust my hustand

6 replies

caffeinateme · 02/08/2025 21:58

There...I said it.
There is history, there's one instance of cheating that I'm sure of (he admitted when I found out and asked him), this was very early on in our relationship and yes, I should have run a mile but I had moved my son to be with him in a different country and didn't want the upheaval.
There are a further two incidents that I strongly suspect but I've never had any evidence and I often wonder whether I'm just a paranoid hormonal loon. Anyway... recently he's been to London quite a bit with work and I've again started suspecting, I can't really put my finger on why. Weird things that probably aren't anything but putting his clothes straight in the wash and that kind of thing, he does do the washing so it's not unusual for him to put a wash on, I don't know what it is but something's felt off.
Anyway, tonight he's at Wembley, with a friend of his that I know and two of the friend's friends and my husband sent a text about 1.5 hours ago:

"I think i am on at the end so worth the wait x"

I've read through all of our conversations today and that's not a response to anything (I've sent him a couple of photos of the kids and a quick update that we were all knackered when home, he replied with an emoji and then a couple of hours that text. what on earth? I may be massively overthinking (maybe I am a paranoid hormonal loon) but it's odd and now I'm not going to sleep. What do I do now? I replied "pardon?" but that's not been read.

OP posts:
Mikis · 02/08/2025 22:01

You moved your children to another country for a man??

caffeinateme · 02/08/2025 22:03

@Mikis thank you for your kind message. Many years ago (15), I moved to another country with my son, yes, to be with my fiancee who I had been with for two years. While I was there, I found out that something had happened around 18 months beforehand, while we in a long distance relationship.

OP posts:
R0ckandHardPlace · 02/08/2025 22:11

Are Oasis playing Wembley tonight? Could it be a joke reference to that?

Smallchangebigstep · 02/08/2025 22:16

I was just wondering what is happening at Wembley tonight and yes it's the Oasis concert.

I think OP you are right not to trust your H but even if that message was sent to you in error I don't understand what it could mean.

Endofyear · 03/08/2025 08:14

No idea what his message means but it doesn't in itself seem to indicate cheating. The real problem here is that he's cheated before and you don't trust him. That's no way to live 😕

Desmodici · 03/08/2025 08:26

It sounds like he's sent someone a long video, with him in at the end.

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