Getting back with baby dad

[Lms2025]

What are your thoughts/experiences on getting back with the father of your child? Is it likely to come to an end again because of the same reasons as before or can it work?

What were the reasons you broke up? Why do you think it would be different if you got back together?

@Endofyear we didn’t end up spending much time together just us without our child and we have different parenting styles that end up in arguements because our views were different. I don’t think we communicated very well at all and there was name calling too whenever we would argue. To be honest it is all still fresh but he is wanting to be back together and thinking we can work it out but I’m unsure if we can and don’t even know what it would take to work it out. I think I am just struggling with trying to get used to not having him around now, I really wanted us to be a family but we were arguing far too often towards the end.

They’re an ex for a reason surely?
Although I did go back to an ex, no DC’s together. It was slightly better, and lasted much longer, but in reality he never matched words and actions. So the outcome was the same. We’re exes again. This time with no contact as he outdid himself by behaving like an enormous dick and refused to apologise.
So I wouldn’t recommend it.
Focus on co-parenting well.

@YetanotherNC25i don’t think actions and words match up with mine either, i think that’s what I’m worried about just ending up being broken up again and feeling like trying again was a complete waste of time. Heads just all over the place. Thanks for your advice!

I wouldn’t, you broke up for a reason and by the sounds of it your relationship was rather toxic. Perhaps work on being good co parents as that’s so much more beneficial to the child than growing up hearing their parents call each other names

@andanotherproblem name calling was from his end calling me a bunch of names whenever we would argue, I always said I wouldn’t stand for that and I don’t know why I even would consider going back after all I have been called I think I am struggling with loneliness to be honest and where it is so fresh I need time to realise that I am better off without that in my life as well as our child not hearing the arguments

If you can, then don't get back together with him. but if you do, then understand it's just another step on the way to a final split. My ex and I had a very acrimonious split but we can now (years later) co parent well and have just got back from a weeks camping together. I think people think that you have to be together with the parent of your child, but even if you're separated you can still be a unit. He was very angry and behaved abominably and I remained the bigger person throughout (with a huge amount of support from my friends and family). Of course this isn't always possible, but if you can see a positive future picture then it might happen. My partner was worst when we were together and post separation - but now we're friends he is much better and more the person all his friends see him as and not the terrible partner he actually was.

Baby dad? Are you 12?

@b0zza1 thanks for your message. I do hope that me and my ex can get to a place similar where we can be friends and get along for our child. I think I just have to accept the fact that it really is over and it won’t work, just getting used to being alone is so difficult

@sanityisamyth No, I’m not 12 🙃

They are an ex for a reason. Be careful

Did you allow him to be on the birth certificate? If so he has full parental rights completely equal to your own regrading every major decision for your child.
For that reason, I’d find a way to get along with him in an adult and reasonable way.
That could lead to getting back together, or could not. But regardless, finding a way to parent together without argument is only going to be of benefit to your child x