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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

A REAL story about a liar who cheated on his girlfriend...and his wife

3 replies

LilianaY · 02/08/2025 14:06

I'd met him about four years ago, and he had told me he was divorced with no children. We had undeniable chemistry, and our relationship blossomed. However, I couldn't shake off a nagging sense of doubt. Knowing his full name and British nationality, I decided to search for him on social media to verify his marital status. To my surprise, I couldn't find him on any platform - no Facebook, Instagram, or TikTok. Despite my initial reservations, I chose to believe him. After all, he had taken me to his place multiple times, where I met his male flatmate, and there were no signs of a woman living there. He was also in constant contact with me, sending me pictures and videos of his daily life, as well as visits with his family and friends. I have pictures of his family and friends on my phone!

Although our connection was strong, I still had a gut feeling that something wasn't right. I tried to break free from the relationship, but he wouldn't let me go. I caught feelings for him, and we continued to see each other, albeit less frequently than he would have liked.

When he invited me to a wedding as his plus one, I couldn't attend, but it reassured me that he wanted to showcase our relationship to his friends. Later, he told me he would be visiting his family in a far-off country for two months. Despite the lack of social media in that country, he kept in touch with me daily, which I attributed to his use of a VPN.

Upon his return, we resumed our sporadic meetings. Then, out of the blue, he ended our relationship, citing that he had met someone else. I wished him well and deleted his number (yes, just like that). Yet, he reappeared less than a year later, and we exchanged messages. I still harbored feelings for him, but I wasn't expecting anything to come of it (and it didn't).

A year later, he texted me again, and we started talking once more. We met briefly, and he attempted to kiss me, but I refused. I asked him if he had broken up with his new partner, and he confirmed that he had. However, when I sent him a casual message 3 weeks ago (yes, 3 weeks ago THIS YEAR), he revealed that he had a girlfriend who he lived with, and he wanted to keep our connection a secret from her.

My curiosity got the better of me, and I decided to search for him online again. What I discovered was shocking: he was not only married but had also been married and expecting a child when we first met. The "family visit" he had mentioned earlier was actually a trip to see his wife who lived in a different country. I felt a mix of emotions - betrayal, anger, and hurt.

When I confronted him about the truth, his response was appalling. Instead of apologizing, he attempted to buy my silence with money. I refused, and he resorted to threats. The experience has left me in emotional pain, struggling to sleep, and plagued by nightmares.

OP posts:
cyvguhb · 02/08/2025 22:14

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mbonfield · 03/08/2025 07:51

You should consider reporting this issue to the Police as there are a number of issues to be dealt with.

Good luck OP.

OnePearlHelper · 03/08/2025 07:58

mbonfield · 03/08/2025 07:51

You should consider reporting this issue to the Police as there are a number of issues to be dealt with.

Good luck OP.

What would you report?

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