My husband talks to me like ctap sometimes.
some examples: earlier today I called him to discuss one of his friends being released from baseball, when I asked him a question he immediately is defensive and shut off, for example. I asked him how long it took for his friend to drive from Virginia to Colorado. He responds “well I don’t know. I was about to ask him, but YOU called me” (like I’m an inconvenience)
It almost feels like he can’t stand me But when I ask him about this, he says of course he likes me then makes out I’m being dramatic. I always feel like I’m a problem or that I irritate him. I know he’s under a lot of stress and he smokes weed which doesn’t help with his mood swings and irritability.
However, he miserableness is bringing me down because I don’t feel valued or like where I’m at I know he knows I’m being serious when I speak to him about this, I just don’t know if he has capacity to change has anyone experienced this contempt and irritability? I’d ask him another question about the friend. He said that he spoke to his friend about his bachelor party so I responded and said “oh your bachelor party, have you decided where you’re going yet or the month you’re going?” And he kind of rolls his eyes and says “no babe do I have to read out every word I say to every person??”
that’s not what I’m asking I’m asking to share his life and I take interest. I’m always looking for connection with him. He says I won’t get a connection by talking about other people. It doesn’t even need to be in a negative way it could be something as simple as how’s your mum lately. Have you heard from your mum and it will get his back up
any ideas on how to tackle this, or if he’s just a misery that’s going to make me miserable forever.