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Original poster

Boyfriends comment about only fans

41 replies

Libraryofscent · 31/07/2025 15:53

I might be overreacting about this one.

My new boyfriend, who I've been with for 8 months, is amazing. He treats me well and I’m very happy.

Last night, we somehow ended up talking about only fans. I wouldn’t have one myself, but I don’t judge others who do. We started talking about couples who do it (mainly the woman), and I asked him how he’d feel if I had one. I’m not planning to make a profile, just curious.

He mentioned that he wouldn’t like it if my profile was local, meaning friends or people we know could see it, but if I wanted to advertise it in another country or to strangers, he wouldn’t care. For some reason, this really upset me. I guess I was hoping he’d say, “No, I wouldn’t want anyone else to see you in an intimate way.” I appreciate that he’s not controlling, but it made me feel a bit crap that he wouldn’t care if some random bloke was pleasuring himself to a nude photo of me.

I can’t really be mad at him since I asked and he was just being honest. But honestly, it’s made me feel pretty shit.

OP posts:
2024onwardsandup · 31/07/2025 17:29

ItsFineReally · 31/07/2025 17:25

If you go through life determined to see the worst in people, please bear in mind it's likely to have a negative impact on your own mental health.

Show quote history

do you dispute that is how many men see women??

LlynTegid · 31/07/2025 17:41

Not a response I would be happy about. Condemnation of Only Fans would have been better, and personally I will judge some choices.

cofffeeee · 31/07/2025 17:49

Duh · 31/07/2025 16:04

Poor guy can’t win.

If he’d said he wouldn’t like it then he’s controlling.

If he says he’s ok ish with it then he doesn’t care about you.

It’s not a fair question at all.

Came to say the same thing.

Branleuse · 31/07/2025 18:02

I don't think it means a great deal tbh. He probably hasn't thought about the ethics of it.

Smallchangebigstep · 31/07/2025 18:07

Tbh the way talk you come over as not particularly understanding what performers on Only Fans do. That a lot of it is online prostitution.
Your question to him was pretty weird to me. Iif you'd been asking him if he ever used Only Fans or his opinion on men in relationships using it I. could understand. But to ask him his opinion on you becoming an Only Fans creator when you say you have no intention of doing that seems pretty pointless.

Lurkingandlearning · 31/07/2025 18:07

Libraryofscent · 31/07/2025 16:09

We're both 30. He has no idea it bothered me. I just laughed it off when he answered and changed topics.

Show quote history

You need to learn some communication skills.

RepoTheGeriatricOpera · 31/07/2025 18:16

The only reasonable thing to do now is ask him if he would still love you if you were a worm.

Original poster
Libraryofscent · 31/07/2025 18:22

Smallchangebigstep · 31/07/2025 18:07

Tbh the way talk you come over as not particularly understanding what performers on Only Fans do. That a lot of it is online prostitution.
Your question to him was pretty weird to me. Iif you'd been asking him if he ever used Only Fans or his opinion on men in relationships using it I. could understand. But to ask him his opinion on you becoming an Only Fans creator when you say you have no intention of doing that seems pretty pointless.

Edited

How have I implied it’s prostitution? I haven’t said anything of the kind.

OP posts:
Smallchangebigstep · 31/07/2025 18:34

@ Libraryofscent
You didn't imply it was prostitution! It was me that said a lot of it is online prostitution!
As a pp said you talk about Only Fans as akin to Facebook almost .

FrippEnos · 31/07/2025 18:36

IMO, this comes under the heading of don't ask, you won't be happy with the answer, its a question designed to trap and cause arguments.

blacksax · 31/07/2025 19:53

Libraryofscent · 31/07/2025 18:22

How have I implied it’s prostitution? I haven’t said anything of the kind.

Show quote history

So OF is sharing picture of kittens and recipes and comedy memes, is it?

Oh wait...

Perhaps he could cope with total strangers thousands of miles away seeing your OF content if you were adamant you wanted to do it, but he thinks it would be a terrible idea for your entire social circle, your family, friends, neighbours and work colleagues to find out what you were doing.

GiveDogBone · 01/08/2025 18:46

Why on earth did you ask such a dumb question? What did you follow it up with? “Does my bum look big in this?”

Spinmerightroundbaby · 01/08/2025 19:01

Libraryofscent · 31/07/2025 15:53

I might be overreacting about this one.

My new boyfriend, who I've been with for 8 months, is amazing. He treats me well and I’m very happy.

Last night, we somehow ended up talking about only fans. I wouldn’t have one myself, but I don’t judge others who do. We started talking about couples who do it (mainly the woman), and I asked him how he’d feel if I had one. I’m not planning to make a profile, just curious.

He mentioned that he wouldn’t like it if my profile was local, meaning friends or people we know could see it, but if I wanted to advertise it in another country or to strangers, he wouldn’t care. For some reason, this really upset me. I guess I was hoping he’d say, “No, I wouldn’t want anyone else to see you in an intimate way.” I appreciate that he’s not controlling, but it made me feel a bit crap that he wouldn’t care if some random bloke was pleasuring himself to a nude photo of me.

I can’t really be mad at him since I asked and he was just being honest. But honestly, it’s made me feel pretty shit.

If you don't like the potential answer, don't ask? I think he's given you an honest and fair-minded response and as you say, green flag here in that he respects your rights in relation to your body.

Supersares · 01/08/2025 21:26

Since when did having your own OF account become normal? Is it really prevalent theses days? Sorry for sounding like I like under a rock but is it considered mainstream now? I’m not judging anyone for having an account but would be devastated if my DH was using it…

LilySLE · 01/08/2025 22:07

Libraryofscent · 31/07/2025 16:07

I know it’s not the same as having a Facebook profile, but it’s pretty common nowadays. Many women have one and see it as a job.

He hasn’t pushed me to create one or anything, but I don’t think he’d care if I did. Well, it looks that way based on his response anyway.

Show quote history

It’s pretty common? Many women have one and see it as a job?

Yikes.

ArthurBloom · 06/08/2025 11:29

Beamur · 31/07/2025 15:57

Yep. He's happy for other men to objectify you but not anyone he knows.
It's feels like an 'enlightened' response but it's not is it? It fundamentally says at the heart of it your body is a commodity that men can buy.

Good lord, imagine being with someone who gives you social landmine questions like this then responds this badly to it.
What would be a perfect answer for you?
him getting mega jealous and possessive?

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