help me with my in laws

[hashim]

Hey,

I have a problem with my in laws. I don't like them at all and am really struggling with pretending to be nice. I just can't do it anymore and feel at my wits end. They are coming to stay tomorrow and I know I can't cope. I'm thinking of all kinds of plans to avoid them/cancel the trip/break my legs/run away. What can I do?

how long are they coming for?

(silly question prob) why don't you get on with them?

you'll have to grit your teeth, unless they are downright rude all the time, and upset you??

Get lots of wine in.

What sort of problem? Are they staying with you or in a hotel nearby? How long are they staying for? Do you have DCs? can you leave your DCs with your PILs while you go and have a coffee/facial etc? Will your DH be around?

Deep breaths, rictus grinning, selective hearing and a knowledge that it isn't forever...

A big glass of wine also doesn't go amiss...

Good luck

They're only staying for 2 days. But i'm still really stressed about it. We live in a tiny house, which isn't really big enough for us, never mind them too, so we have to live in very close quarters.
They don't think very highly of me and regulary criticise me and watch what i do all the time. I feel like I'm being observed when they are there.
They constantly compare my DD with their other grand child of the same age, who seems to be much more advanced, from what they say.
They eat and drink lots and lastly, my DP will be at work, so the entertaining will be down to me.

at dp being at work.

they sound charmers. Can you get out of the house, without them! Or maybe organise soemthing to do with them saturday?

You can cope, going back to your op. It sounds as though they affect your confidence.
You could come on here and let rip, and we could help?

Oh FGS. Now i've started..
They're racist, sexist and everything else 'ist.'
They don't approve of me working and think I'm a terrible mother. They don't 'talk' apart from to gossip about someone or something.
My daughter is always in a bad mood when they visit, so they always see her at her worst. Overall, I would rather eat slugs than spend time in their company.

eww, sounds bad hashim. Am seeing your point here.

Sorry got to dash and pick my daughter up, but if anyone has any suggestions, let me know. I'm thinking of some kind of disease that I can catch that is very contagious.. or perhaps just get completely trollied and tell them exactly what I think of them.

I have this problem. I just tolerate them. I have never found a solution that doesn't involved lots and lots of tension between dh and me.

Mine tell people I only work 2 days a week, when I work 4. This avoids them having to tell anyone that dd goes to nursery twice a week. I just try to ignore them, and appreciate that its their problem, not mine.

Mine were even criticising the fact that my shoes were not straight in the shoe rack in the porch. They were making a big drama of it at dd's 1st birthday party. My mum was not amused.

ALthough the grandad is worse. When he first met my parents, before dh and I got married, we stood up to leave, and in front of everyone he said, 'ooh you're not as slim as your mum are you?'

THat says it all about dh's family IMO.

Oh you poor thing. Can you organise lots of cinema trips and things where you won't have to talk to each other? Pretend you're studying for a qualification or something and you simply HAVE to spend at least two hours a day locked away from them. Or a friend is very ill and you have to look after her, involving mornings round at her house doing housework and preparing food for her family?

And for the longer term, take in a lodger, or move to an even smaller house.

Oh give as good as you get. If they have a GD who is more advanced than your DD, invent some old people you know who do unicycling and write for National Geographic. If they are racist, you become rabidly in favour of polish people. And if you serve them all the food and drink they hate, you might be lucky and they'll never visit you again

confront them how you feel and make a stand for yourself.Dont take thier shit anylonger and tell them exactly how you feel and what you think of them.
you wouldnt let joe public make you feel like this would you?.
Do it sober then after you have given them both barrels ,ride off into the sunset like the hero cowgirl.

p.s then have a drink!

Selective hearing is the best option. Ignore or smile and say nothing.
Easy for me to say i know.
Apart from that, do all those little jobs that you can't do with dd around, whilst popping in to check on them at frequent intervals.
Oh and dont let your dh get away with not beig there. When he gets in, go out!!

Thank you for your help and advice. They are due anytime now, so i'm trying to decide which route to take. DP and I have had bets on how many seconds it will be before they mention their other more favoured grand child. I say 5 secs, he says 10.
Last time they visited, it took them just 4 seconds to mention her. 'Ohh F.... is crawling, is E....?' No? 'Oh have you spoken to the health visitor?'