Hand hold on hold to Refuge - really long queue

[PorcupineParty]

Is anyone able to offer a virtual hug or hand hold while I'm on hold to Refuge?

It's just me (no children) and I have no family or friends to confide in. I feel so scared.

I tried calling once before in spring but they didn't seem to have any space for me. I badly need a place to stay tonight and going forward.

Good luck OP, I hope you get through to them soon and they can help you.

There maybe other refuges available in your area if you google?

Best of luck OP

I'm here op.

Hopefully youre somewhere safe right now and can keep holding on.

I hope someone answers soon

You're doing such an important thing 💙

Thank you all. I feel such a mess. Just trying to get some stuff together in bags.

I know I’m just a stranger on the internet but you must be a very brave person to be taking the steps you’re taking, and I think you’re awesome. Sending much love and good wishes for a brighter future. It will get better 🩷

Thank you everyone for being so kind. It's been a really long time coming and I feel so alone.

Thank you so much for the suggestion.

When I made contact in the spring I seemed to get passed between national service and local service(s), it turned into too many obstacles and I lost my nerve. I know it's not their fault and there have been a LOT of cuts. I just needed to be presented with a straightforward plan to 'get out'.

I'm hoping it will be better this time or else I'm definitely going to try your suggestion. I'd already looked on CAB and my council's homelessness pages but to be honest my head is swimming. I will definitely try them next if no luck with Refuge.

You can also look here:
https://www.womensaid.org.uk/information-support/womens-aid-directory/

If you're in London try:
https://www.hestia.org/referral-line

Try your council website for local services.

I’m so glad previous posters knew that going to the council offices would help. I wouldn’t have a clue. I came on just to offer some support and encouragement.

Absolutely. I badly needed a handhold. I have mental health and chronic physical health conditions which make it more difficult to leave for various reasons. I was passed from A to B and back and forth with no resolution and no sense of urgency. I thought my description was fairly critical but apparently not 😣

I'm no blaming anyone, it just felt like a total breakdown in the system. When I was plucking up my nerve I read many accounts of refuges picking people up in a van and taking them to a safe place? I thought it might go a bit like that, or some extra effort at my end but it didn't seem to go anywhere. Of course I blamed myself and convinced myself I wasn't worthy of help.

I've actually had a reply from the local service asking if I'd like to get in touch in a couple of days. Um, I'm in crisis now??

Can you get to friend, relative or hotel? You try Shelter
https://england.shelter.org.uk/get_help

That's so disappointing and frustrating, @PorcupineParty. It does not reflect your worth at all though, just overloaded services. Keep going, you're doing so well to persevere

Hand hold from me, I’ve been there and just as you’ve described pushed from a to b and back again. I actually got helped by the local council crisis team and was put into temporary accommodation, they also helped to kick start the process with a local DA charity who were completely overrun but stepped up. You have to hold your nerve take whatever help is given and remind yourself often why you needed to be out of the situation you was in. It will get better, such a brave step to pick up the phone and make those enquiries, keep pushing and you will be taken seriously eventually. Keep posting back here for suggestions as that will help your focus - gather together paperwork, ID and anything of sentimental value you are able to take with you. You’ve got this!

Are you ok OP? Are you out?
I’ve been there and couldn’t get through to services. Also got a 2 day call back message which is not helpful at all when women need to get out then and there. In the end I did have family to help me. But if you don’t have that then I hope you took the suggestion of going to the council if you had no luck. They will provide accommodation and push the domestic abuse side of things for you. And once you have a place in a refuge they will support you. And just remember that being on your own is still far better than being with someone who is abusing you

How are you getting on @PorcupineParty ? Sending you hugs.

i hope you have had some luck OP