Sorry for the long post but I’d appreciate you reading if you have time. Feel free to skip but I’ve tried to include many details. Thank you.
My brother met his wife in London whilst she was here from Africa on a temp visa. She was living alone in London in an apartment. Within 6 weeks of knowing him, they were trying for a baby, months later married. When he first met her, he told him she had a 'trust fund'. He thought she was from a rich family. He is yet to see this trust fund. He pays for everything.
Since my brother has been with his wife, he has drastically changed. For example, his wife asked me to transport some glasses to America for her. She gave them to my mother to pass to me. She gave them to my mother wrapped in newspaper, one accidently must have smashed in my suitcase whilst transporting. Once I realised, I told her, suddenly there was a huge accusations from my brother saying me or my mum had smashed the glass, one of us was 'lying', one of us was 'covering up the truth', and we need to 'tell the truth?!'. Honestly it was a mistake and neither me or my mum knew how the glasses smashed. I actually ended up calling his wife on the phone and explaining this, saying there was no malicious intent, she replied saying me or my mum must be lying, and one of us know the truth.... yes seriously.
One time my mother was babysitting and his wife text my mum asking how the baby was doing, my mother replied saying 'he is screaming and quite upset'. My brother and wife rushed home, his wife in tears, and my brother accused my mum of hitting his son, saying they will be checking his body for marks. My mum burst into tears. Yes, my mum is not the most patient, and was probably waiting for them to get home, but she never said COME HOME and would never hurt a baby.
Lately my brother has stopped talking to me pretty much entirely, he rarely opens anyone's texts, he has left the family group chat and said he 'can't relate to anyone in the family anymore and is trying to raise his son away from scummy people' yep really. Hurtful. This is the brother I spent months of my life trying to help so he didn't attempt suicide again when he broke up from his last girlfriend. I have recently moved out of state so don't spend that much time with him, but my mother (who spends time with them) has said he always seems on edge, stressed out, worried about saying the wrong thing, for e.g. she gave my brother some food and he replied 'HAS TRACEY HAD SOME FOOD?!', insinuating he can't eat if she hasn't. You can tell he looks after the child more than she does, on top of working full time, has to take and collect his son from childcare, never gets a break. He takes the moral high ground on everything telling my parents they should have more savings, judging everyone every chance he gets. They are in the process of buying a house together.
KEY PART One time he confided in me, and said she ignores him for weeks when she is annoyed. She started a new job and was stressed, and would not talk to my brother for a week in his own house. I recently decided to confront him about his behaviour, in a caring way. I explained the family are concerned, we love him and miss him, but his accusatory judgemental behaviour is not something I recognize. He just kept replying 'you worry about you' 'ill worry about my family, you worry about yours' and 'well the family are worried about your relationship too'. I explained no one can help him if he doesn't tell anyone. I explained I feel he is always trying to attack my character, which he is, and sees the bad in every situation and makes out everything is evil and malicious. Most recently he said I have 'bad energy' and 'take care peace'. I assume he will no longer answer my texts. I don't know where to go from here, do I keep making an effort, or just let him be?
On top of this, his wife seems to ADORE me, always texting me, offering advice on life, sharing photos of the son. I believe she wants the family to have a relationship with her and only her.
any advice? Or views on what could be happening?