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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Regretfully fallen a bit for ex

2 replies

Bubblegumicecreamm · 28/07/2025 01:21

Split up 2 years ago and I was fine when we did, no dramatic tears or slumps. I was quite relieved when we split too, he left me with all the outstanding bills from the place we shared, he was pretty rude to me towards the end, he was very lazy around the home and we had generally just grown incompatible.

Now, 2 years on, he’s had another relationship (over now), I haven’t. He’s still sometimes unkind, he can be inconsiderate when it comes to co parenting. Yet somehow I think in the last couple months I think I’ve re developed some feelings. It’s illogical because I don’t really like him even though I’d say we are good friends for DC. When I’m around him I have to remind myself that I don’t really want to be with him. He does make the odd pass at me but makes it very clear he doesn’t think I’m what he’s looking for. He even made a comment that he was nicer to his recent ex after me because he said he found it easier to be nice to her.

What’s wrong with me?

OP posts:
JillyGiraffe · 28/07/2025 05:24

I think you need to switch these feelings off as it isn’t going to end well..!

Zanatdy · 28/07/2025 05:38

Write yourself a list of all the reasons why you were glad to split up and re-read it. There’s been times in the 15yrs since I split with father of my DC that he’s made clear he wanted to give things another go, and he’s not all bad. But I soon remind myself why it didn’t work and zero evidence he has changed so i’d never go back. We have a good relationship as friends, even go on some holidays together. But we will never be partners again. Try and keep those thoughts far from your mind as it won’t end well and splitting a second time would be awful for the kids.

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