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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Support thread for those stuck in a bad marriage

5 replies

TrWi · 27/07/2025 19:58

Another weekend where I was de facto a single mum to our 10-months old...my husband left Saturday and Sunday at 5.30am to go to the gym, then for breakfast, then work 9-5 and then pub. Comes home between 9-10pm, straight in the shower and then falls asleep.

The icing of the cake is that he insists on a 50/50 split on bills and on top of that I have to pay for everything for the baby. He used to 'gracefully' give me the weekends to earn money while he looked after our baby, but that has ended now as well and I need to use up my savings.

Him being out all day makes my life easier because at least I can enjoy a peaceful time with our baby. I'm currently exploring ways how to leave him safely, it's not easy, all my family is abroad while he has family support here and he is from a culture where women don't just leave. After I got pregnant he said something to the effect that I wouldn't be able to leave and he can have a temper, so I'm wary and I tell myself better safe than sorry.

OP posts:
MsSmartShoes · 27/07/2025 20:00

You would be better off in every way without him.

TrWi · 27/07/2025 20:07

MsSmartShoes · 27/07/2025 20:00

You would be better off in every way without him.

Absolutely, I know that and I look forward to a future without him!

OP posts:
RandomMess · 27/07/2025 20:09

I suggest via a refuge and relocate far far away.

Can you tell him you have no savings left? Drip feed it into a secret account or someone else you trust?

Thricewomen · 27/07/2025 20:12

Ok, this isn't a bad marriage this is an abusive one and a potentially dangerous abusive marriage.

Femaleone · 27/07/2025 23:14

As you know he neither loves or respects you. Leave as soon and as safely as you can. Woman's refuge is probably your best bet. All the best.

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