Stayed but feel inadequate

[becauseitwas]

Several years ago my partner and I almost split up. Their choice.
Our relationship is ok now but anyone who has experienced similar knows you are in a new normal ( not a nice normal )
I just struggle even though several years on to have the same self worth and value of myself. I feel like I was tossed aside like I meant nothing. My partner was ruthless. It was so shocking. I constantly feel sad inside my head now looking back to how they were just done with me.
How do I ever feel good enough about me as a person and the way I look and so on. I feel sad about it all even though I am glad we stayed together.

I think you are going to need to give more details. What was the cause of the 'almost split' and why did they decide to stay?

They took someone else out and hid it from me. I found out and asked why and was dumped but they changed their mind a week later. They and other person always played it down maintained nothing to it. But problem I had was it was hidden from me. If nothing had been hidden and they had gone out in a group of people it wouldn’t have been an issue for me. My partner has apologised and said it was a mistake and knows how much it has hurt me but I felt so betrayed and shocked as was almost the end of our thirty year relationship (my partner choice) because of this. Other person married and still married.
My partner still has contact through work.

Why did you stay @becauseitwas ?

Morning Becauseitwas

Have a read about ‘betrayal trauma’. It will help you understand your natural responses and help you decide what you want going forward. Is counselling a possibility?