To stay in a loveless marriage for the sake of my children?

[InaPickle95]

I feel completely conflicted about what to do. My relationship has been in the “room mate” stage for probably about 3/4 years. My husband and I went through a lot of stresses and it changed him. He is mostly kind and hard working but has been very snappy with me and talks to me like a child a lot. What he has been through changes someone but I don’t know how I can continue being miserable for years to come- I’m only 30! I don’t feel like I am attracted to him at all anymore. Probably from the lack of affection and the short temper aimed at me.

But, we have 2 small children and I can’t afford to give them the life they would have with both of us living together. I work part time and I have never claimed any benefits in my life. I also am so worried about the damage it would do to them. I have no family nearby to stay with for a trial separation and feel completely stuck.

Has anybody been in a similar situation. No idea what to do for the best and no idea where to start.

Do not stay in a loveless marriage because of the kids or for a lifestyle you want to maintain. Material possessions count for bugger all if their parents are this unhappy with each other within the home. Do not kid yourself that they do not know or notice how unhappy you are. They likely know far more about the state of your marriage than either you or your H care to realise. They certainly pick up on the vibes both spoken and unspoken between you two.

Be brave and make the break sooner rather than later. You’re only 30 and it’s not too late to start over.

Whose sake would you be staying for here because it could be argued it’s your own and not your children’s. Children need an emotionally stable home and currently at least they are not getting that. It is certainly not the sanctuary it should be for them and you.

What do you want to teach them about relationships and what are they learning here?.

You surely would want better for them and what you’re describing is not good enough for you either. Would you want them to stay in such a marriage like this just because you initially did?. Give your head a wobble here.

Divorce is not failure op, living in unhappiness is.

First post nails it.

The only acceptable level of abuse in a relationship is none.

I dare say he does not speak to his mother or work colleagues in a similar vein. If he is verbally abusive towards you then your marriage is over in any case.

See a solicitor - find out what you'd likely get.
Get the house valued.
Explore childcare options.
Look at f-t jobs.

With information you'll know more clearly what position you will be in. It might be easier than you think.

Don’t. Get out while they are still young and don’t tug your heart strings about it. Wish I had