Would this offend

[offended]

If you and your partner had friends round and were listening to music and your partner suddenly announced
ah this song used to remind of
as in girls name, as in an ex, as in the name is in the song how would you feel ?

Glad everyone was feeling relaxed and open?

Some boyfriends- wouldn't have bothered me. Statement of fact. Had no bearing on us. Just a little insight into his past.

Other boyfriends - Id have felt uncomfortable that he was thinking of/mentioning someone else because it reminded me of other concerns I had in the relationship and brought it tp thebforefojt off mine and a time i didn't want to think about it.

I'l

It depends on so much OP.

How long have you been together?

If this was some woman from many years ago before you met, and he no longer had contact with her and doesnt useually talk about her then it might not be a big thing. Unless it was said in a wistful voice.

If this woman is more recent and you think he still carries a torch for her then of course that's different.

And also did thses friends know her ?

It obviously seems to have upset you OP hearing him say that the song reminds him of this woman. So does that mean all is not well in your relationship with him?

Wouldn't bother me.

DP has a particular artist that she loves, it's not her usual type of music at all. And I know why she loves this artist, it's because it reminds her of a particular time in her life, with a particular bloke (I know this because she told me). It reminds her of a time of her life that she really enjoyed, that she can't recapture.

And that doesn't make me jealous, because I have memories like that too about ex girlfriends, and sometimes they're triggered by music, or smells, or being in a specific place. And me having those memories doesn't mean that I'm unhappy with DP, or that I wish that I was still with any of those women. It just means that I'm reminded of a time when life was good. Life is good now as well, but it's a different kind of good to then, so sometimes I get nostalgic about then.

I know that sounds confused, I've been in the pub since 11am watching the rugby so I'm not being particularly eloquent.

What I'm saying is that DP hears the song and remembers being happy. The boyfriend was a big part of the reason why she was happy at the time, but that's not why the song makes her happy. The song makes her happy because she was happy when she found the song. In the end, the boyfriend didn't make her happy (he punched her in the face) but at the time he did, and so the song still does.

As a PP said, it really depends on the context. Some songs remind me of my first love and they make me smile but it has no bearing on my feelings for my husband. But if this is a recent ex and the song is all about passionate longing (maybe Missing You by John Waite or Wonderful Tonight by Eric Clapton), I would probably be a bit dismayed.

Wouldn't bother me.

My partner offered to delete a load of photos from his own of an ex and I said you will mot, it's part of your life.

Nope. Would not bother me.