Trying too reignite after menopause

[BethDeWoody]

So sex drive has never been high completely up and left for probably at least the last 5 years (I have a very patient husband)but trying to get it work out how to restart it, has any one subscribed to omgyes.com and found it helped/worked, any other suggestions as just feel very awkward and don't want to get his hopes up, also is this ok in here as the sex forum seems a little scary and or overwhelming at the moment. Have also done the obligatory name change!

Go and find a sex therapist to see together with your husband.

Go to a nudest resort, get comfortable with being naked together.

Have you considered hrt op? Adding testosterone to my oestrogen sorted me right out!
Make sure you're figuring out how to enjoy yourself alone regularly and get back to basics with dh, foreplay should start with plenty of loving touches and interactions throughout the day x

As above, if it happens to me (luckily hasn't so far) I'm going to go straight to the menopause specialist nurse and ask for testosterone. Already on HRT and once I'm fully used to it I'll be adding in vaginal estrogen cream as well to guard against atrophy.

On the relationship and sex side...eh it's hard to advise because I've always had a very healthy sex drive, pretty well matched with DH, so the times when we've had less sex were very difficult/stressful/painful times on either side which isn't exactly the same as not being all that interested to begin with. But what we did was just always still have lots of affection between us, lots of touching/hugging/snuggling/whatever it looks like to you. And then the more usual appetite came back eventually as the stresses resolved themselves.

If I lost it I think I would really gently try to find it in myself first, without adding in actual sex with DH. This takes the pressure off and also doesn't get his hopes up. I'd explore a bit again, get comfortable with myself, and just see how it goes. If you don't have a vibrator that might be a good way to start - just a gentle one.

However in the first instance I'd investigate HRT, but of course that's a very personal thing.

I'm on HRT but at the lowest level as it's all I can tolerate, I'm not good with adding in hormones as the combined pill triggered migraines the mini pill just made me bleed constantly, I have tried virginal estrogen again didn't agree, so haven't explored testosterone as I feel it would likely work against me 🤣, but I have been period free for 18 months now and a beginning to feel a little more like myself, and I agree that I think I need to explore me more alone, but then I feel guilty for not including husband, and whilst we hug and stuff I tend not to be touchy feely with him as don't want to lead him on/send mixed messages, but I feel I had backed myself into a corner and not sure how to come out of it, without dashing his hopes if I retreat back into it, which I don't want to do.

Therapy isn't a goer as we are not therapy sort of people.

I had a horrendous time with contraception- its the progesterone that was messing with me.
The oestrogel hrt has been brilliant and no side effects from the testosterone. No pressure - just sharing for into.
I'd be clear with dh that you're keen to find some physical intimacy again but ask if he would be happy to have more physical contact now but without the expectation of sex. Tell him you'll be clear when you're ready.
I went through surgical menopause which took my libido off a cliff, it took a lot of patience from my dh while we pieced it back together so I do understand what you're going through
We are like a couple in their 20s now so it can be found again op x

@Allthegoodonesareg0ne

My libido is non existent since the menopause. Has the testosterone worked? Did your GP prescribe it?Most importantly has it made you hairy? As a hirsute woman this would be my main concern.

Wouldn't that be counterproductive as it would make being naked into a casual unsexual thing?

It's worked wonders! Honestly totally turned things around. No extra hair at all, no negative sides effects for me. I do alternate the site I apply to though to be safe.
I use androfemme so I have to have that privately prescribed (it's specific for women and the dosage is easier to figure out - but it is pricey). The gp was able prescribe a testosterone gel, but only on the recommendation of a menopause specialist. The gp prescribed gel though is fiddly for doses, as the sachets are dosed for men it needs to be split which is a bit of a faff.

Omgyes is a lot of different women talking about self pleasure / what works for them etc. Some instructional videos and pictures to accompany the various techniques. It's great for normalising women wanking and talking about their pleasure without shame or embarrassment.

I can see how it might be helpful if you didn't know what works for you, if you wanted to try different techniques or wanted to have words/ ideas to explain or show OH how to stimulate you.

As far as reigniting your sex life... It is presented in a very factual almost scientific manner and isn't in itself sexy!