Struggling to move on

[QuaintMauveCrow]

I finally ended a really toxic relationship with my daughters father 8 weeks ago..
it had been on and off since my pregnancy 2 years ago. I kept it mostly separate to my home life with my children and never fully accepted it back into our lives but mentally it really has affected me, there was a lot of emotional abuse and harassment that I reported to the police and resulted in him being arrested. I have worked hard to keep my boundaries in place, have stuck to no contact with daughter unless there is court input to keep things safe for my daughter.
i am having regular therapy but I am struggling so bad.
he has made it clear he has moved on with others and is happy. He now makes no effort to contact me, this feels right but also has left me feeling discarded and like all of the awful things he has said about me are true. Completely unloveable, undesirable and like I was always the problem.
i feel abandoned.
i know that this is a deeper wound i need to heal and the reason i accepted the abuse for so long.
im scared and anxious that I don’t have the strength to repair this and this is how I have always felt and will always feel.
it does not feel fair.
i have been trying to move on physically but have not reached that point yet and im feeling a little hopeless.
i want more for myself & i want to feel loved and cared for.
Advice on how to move forward gratefully received ❤️

Well done for ending a toxic relationship. It is early days yet, I think the best thing you can do is give yourself time. Although the relationship turned out to be negative, there must have been things that felt good earlier on that you need to grieve. You might have negative feelings about how you got into the situation, and it will have knocked your confidence in yourself massively.

I'd say keep on with your therapy, give it lots of time, and look after yourself like you are convalescing a debilitating illness. Hang in there, it will get better.

You have a lot of healing to do.
The only way to keep going through it, is if you believe you can do it. And deep down, you do. Otherwise you wouldn't have been so brave in keeping up your boundaries and recognising you needed to keep him at a distance.
You have hope and you believe in yourself. People who don't, well they just roll over and let others abuse them. You have a strength that you're not seeing right now, but that doesn't mean it's not there.

Abusers love to tell you that you deserve all of the nasty things they throw your way. Nobody deserves that. But somehow they manage to destroy your self esteem and make you doubt yourself, your character, your sanity.
Don't give him the satisfaction. Stop doubting yourself.
Do you know why he's keeping his distance? Because abusing you wasn't fun and easy anymore. You were becoming too much work. You were standing up for yourself too much and setting too many boundaries. You were expecting to be treated like a human being.
Abusers don't leave for someone better. They leave for someone easier.

Get the parenting app and block him on absolutely everything else you are At the beginning of this journey and it’s going to take time, But this will get better. You just need to serve all non-daughter related contact.

Thank you! You are all right and i really connect to what you have said ❤️

its such a rollercoaster, one minute I feel free and almost Euphoric and the next I feel what I can only describe as a deep despair it’s crazy!

Just wanted to update this thread to say thank you to the people that replied!
and to anyone else searching for similar threads that are going through something similar to myself, it does get easier!
after months of utilising support from friends, family and therapy life is so so much more settled and I feel proud to be ending the year having stuck to my boundaries! It hasn’t been a linear process but on reflection, I’m ending the year in a much much better place! ❤️