I’ve (38f) been with my husband (40m) for nearly six years. It has been tumultuous, mostly due to factors beyond our control. He is my best friend and has been since I met him, but we have always had problems with our sex life (too complex to get into, but can over simplify by saying severely mismatched libidos) and some other seemingly minor incompatibility issues. But we’ve always had a lot of fun together, despite the challenges we’ve faced. But lately I’m finding it all a lot less fun and I worry that we’re not going to make it.
He’s made some decisions in the past couple of years that have compromised my respect for him, though I’ve tried to work around that, it is hard. He’s also letting himself go physically - which wouldn’t bother me TBH except he is continuing to make no effort sexually - and consequently I don’t feel attracted to him most of the time.
I think he senses I’m pulling away a little and it’s making him kind of clingy, which makes me pull away even more. I’ve talked to him about our problems, particularly the sexual ones, countless times, but nothing changes.
What’s scaring me is that I feel like I’m starting to check out and I don’t know what to do to change this course we’re on. I want things to work with him, he’s a wonderful person in so many ways, and I try to focus on all the things I like about him, but it’s getting so hard. I find myself feeling irritated by him a lot of the time, which isn’t fair on him. I just don’t know how to get us back on track. Can I find my way back to respecting and being attracted to him? Or is this the beginning of the end?
Would love to hear from anyone who experienced this and fought their way through the rough patch. I know marriage requires a lot of work and I am willing to do it. I’m not ready to give up.