I am certain I dont want him back, in fact it would be my worst nightmare.

[mybrainaches]

So why do I still feel so bitter and down?

I ask myself the same question a lot recently! Do you dream about him at all - I keep dreaming about finding out about his fling again - and its like I am just as hurt - like its happening for the first time, and when I wake up I feel AWFUL again.

Only once or twice, I dream he is killing me, I dont know why, he was'nt violent, I suppose its because the one he was cheating on me with lives just over the road, so when I open my curtains in the morning his car in her drive is the first thing I see.

god - that would have sent me mental - no wonder you are feeling the way you are!

I think anyone would feel bitter and down in that situation. Regardless of whether you want him back, he is - if you look at it this way, and why wouldn't you - deliberately rubbing your nose in it. Okay, from his perspective no doubt he was "swept away" and you weren't meant to get hurt and blah blah blah (sorry, don't know your story so am guessing a bit) but from your perspective it's the classic "don't shit on your own doorstep", except you're the one paying the consequences

Maybe you can start each day looking at his car in her driveway and think "every day I see that is another day in my new life without the tosser"? Remind yourself of his worst habits and what she will have to deal with.

And remember, "living well is the best revenge" - maybe think about what you can do to make your life more fabulous now he's gone?

Thanks, good advice

It just seems so stupid mourning over someone you dont want, quite confusing rearly, she is only 18 and well known for sleeping around, I think she just thinks she is cool at the moment because she has bagged herself an older married man who drives a BMW, when the novelty wears off she will move on, and I will have a front row seat of watching him fall flat on his face, by then I will be fine (hopefully) and enjoying the single life while he is left back at square one.

I think you're probably mourning the relationship / the you you thought you were in the relationship more than this complete twonk of an arsewipe. An 18 year old, snort - let's run a sweepstake on when she kicks him out. June 30th anyone?! (Btw is this an 18 year old with her own house? Please tell me he's not shacked up in her parents' place).

She lives there with her mum, her munms fiance, her daughter, 2 sisters, and a brother, H does'nt live there as such, just stays every night. cosy eh??

Its only a 3 bed house too.

OMG, that is so sad. He's probably sleeping on the sofa and cursing his luck - if he isn't, just pretend he is - cos he will be

I could pretend but unfortunately her bedroom curtains are extremely thin and she has has a very bright light, I now shut my own curtains before its dark to avoid seeing that sight again......ewwww

Eeeeeeuuuuwww that is hideous. I would deffo buy them a pair of blackout linings as a 'housewarming' gift

lol, good idea, thanks for the advice

oh dear, having your ex and the OW so hidiously close must be horrible, but you will have a front row seat to watch the car crash unfold when it all goes tits up, which I would bet it will.
My ex cheated with a teenager, one ammong many other reasons why I am so glad to be rid of him. she then dumped him for another (younger) bloke, after lending money off him and maxing out his credit card, being taken on holidays ect ect. how I laughed [evil emoticon]

oooh, just shows you dont need to take revenge, just let karma do its job H has no money if thats what she is waiting for (especially when the CSA start taking some)

How is your ear?

Not hurting anymore, but still leaking and I cant hear anything through it, thanks for asking

you can get temporary deafness after a burst eardrum, might be worth seeing doctor still though.

Hope your neighbour problems improve too!

Thanks, I think I will, I cant hear myself scream at the kids (only joking)

In a way he has killed you; he's killed the 'you' that loved him, he's killed the 'you' that was a wife, he's also probably half-killed you emotionally too.

I understand your 'bitter' feelings (hate that word. I prefer to think of it as 'justifiably vengeful'!!). I still feel like this about my xh sometimes. When he finally falls off that mountain on one of his skiing holidays, maybe then I'll get over it.

Maybe when you see his entire belongings hit the drive from their bedroom window, you will feel the same.