To avoid a drip feed, I'll preface my issue by explaining that I've had a turbulent relationship in the past with my DM. She's 50, I'm early 30s - she was a single teen mum and made a lot of mistakes raising me. She was often emotionally abusive, and I think she felt quite resentful that her youth was spent raising a child. I left home as soon as I was old enough. We've continued to have disagreements in my adult years as she's struggled with her MH and relationship with alcohol. She's turned a corner in recent years though and things have been civil.
I've recently had a baby, and last week my baby was diagnosed with a minor health condition (easily treatable, not a huge concern, and the treatment started yesterday). DM was at a friend's wedding abroad when we got the diagnosis last week, so I decided not to tell her while she was away so as not to worry her. I did however tell my baby's other grandmother/my MIL, as she's a GP, and she talked me through the condition my DC has and how it will be treated. I felt very reassured after this conversation and had pretty much put it out of my mind (obviously I was worried about my baby to start with, regardless of how minor the condition is).
Fast forward to Sunday, DM gets back from her trip and messages asking to come and visit the baby. I replied saying we couldn't do this week, explained about the health condition and treatment that the baby will be having. Thinking I was being reassuring, I mentioned that I had discussed it with my MIL too, and fed back her knowledge about the condition and treatment. I haven't heard from DM since - she just stopped replying. Nothing to express concern about the baby, relief that it sounds straightforward, nothing on the morning then treatment started wishing us well or checking in that we're OK. I can only therefore assume that I'm getting the silent treatment because she's upset I didn't tell her sooner (and potentially is narked that my baby's other GM knew about the situation before she did).
AITA here for not telling DM straight away about the situation, and she's justifiably upset for not being kept informed about her DG's health? Or is she being narcissistic and making it about her? Due to our historical relationship, I'm inclined to think she's being unreasonable in her reaction, but as a FTM and her a FTGM, I'm not sure about the etiquette when it comes to sharing updates about my child!
I'm also not sure what to do moving forward - do I text her and acknowledge that she's been ignoring me in my message and ask why, or should I just send her a normal message with an update about the baby, and ignore that she's ignoring me? DH thinks I should do neither and just wait for a response, but the continued lack of communication is making me feel stressed (despite being a grown up, my DM always manages to make me regress back to anxious teen mode when she's throwing a strop).