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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

DP demeans me in from of DC

3 replies

PLSL · 22/07/2025 21:40

I dont post very often, but DP did something recently to upset me and so I wanted to get advice from the wise people on here.

For background, I am not from the UK and English is my third language.

Here is what happened:

We were driving back from DC's sports event. We were discussing DNA and I said it stands for 'Dont never answer' as a Joke. Then DC told me this is a double negation. My DP, who is a native speaker, reinforced this in a serious way. I then explained to my DC that because I am not from the UK, I sometimes make grammar mistakes.

Then I said perhaps it stands for 'Dont now answer'. Then my DP said that it could stand for 'Do not Answer'. Then my DP asked me why I couldnt get something so simple. Then I pointed out again that I am not from here and that because I am not a native speaker, I perceive and communicate in English differently from the rest of my family.

Then my DP said 'Blablabla' literally and told me that I always keep repeating the same things. This all happened in front of my DC. I said to my DP that I would never say something like this if the situation was reversed, but they said I should. I also pointed out that this is rude behaviour but my DP said it wasnt in front of my DC.

Now I am not a native English speaker and I dont understand most nuances in the language here. But is this type of behaviour demeaning? I certainly felt like it was demeaning, but I knowing my DP I will not get an apology ever and this will just get worse.

Any interpretation of this situation from native English speakers would be great

Do you agree with my interpretation or am I overreacting?

OP posts:
pointythings · 22/07/2025 21:44

Personally I would have told him that until his [your native language] is as good as your English is, he gets to shut the fuck up.

I'm fully multilingual and I do not take shit. Nor should you, having three languages is impressive. You should be proud, not embarrassed about your English (which you write well).

justasking111 · 22/07/2025 21:48

How many languages does he speak?

AttilaTheMeerkat · 22/07/2025 22:06

I would look into making DP now an ex partner. I would also think this is repeated behaviour towards you as well.

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