Married for a few years. Second time around and it’s on the rocks. Major issues around his communication style and fear of conflict. Basically he’s hurt me badly a number of times and then when I’ve brought it up has shut down completely and refuses to discuss or acknowledge what I’m saying. I have got a bit mouthy at times which I’m not proud of but it’s like I’m not allowed to address issues which have hurt me and when I do I’m ignored, invalidated and dismissed. He’s now harbouring major resentment towards me- in fact it’s almost like he hates me. I have owned my part when I’ve said too much in an argument but he refuses to see his lack of communication is a major contributory factor. I’m at the stage that I can’t take any more- my sense of self is being eroded and I’m counting my own reality. We’re currently living apart and he is refusing to communicate and any attempts I make to normalise things are rejected. He’s saying he’s suffered trauma and my behaviour is abusive and manipulative. I totally get he hates conflict and I have reflected on my own actions and own them but they have honestly been as a result of being effectively silenced and it’s been no more than telling him a few truths. . I see a pattern that as long as I don’t express needs or wants he is ok. I also detect that he is jealous of me and my good reputation. It all feels toxic and I’ve offered him a divorce but he won’t commit to either working on our communication or splitting. He has already observed that he had feelings like this in his first marriage. He is so angry at me and there is no encouragement or love being expressed at all. I feel like I am losing my mind. Perspectives welcome.