If your husband has a narcissistic mother…

[NeuroSpicyCat]

How has this affected him?

How does he present in your marriage?

How does he deal with her?

Mostly ignores her now, as much as possible. Let’s her waffle on and doesn’t try and argue with her on the odd occasion we do see her. We will only visit with both of us present, otherwise she is too nasty. His upbringing had a huge impact on him but made him a better Dad and husband as he was determined not to repeat her pattern of behaviour.

She's not around any more, but he mostly used to give her a wide berth. He used to phone her every Sunday out of obligation and used to DREAD it because of the guilt trips and the negativity. When we visited, he would try to let the guilt trips and negativity wash over him, but it still really hurt him and annoyed the hell out of him. It particularly hurt him when she would go on about what a lovely little boy he used to be, while showing no interest at all in his life as an adult

In terms of lasting impact, he has very low self esteem. He's very sensitive and needs a lot of nurturing and reassurance, but is very good at nurturing others too.