Don’t now how to get out this mess

[Biggles27]

This is a bit long so I’ll apologise

theres a woman at my gym. She kept talking at me in a class so to shut her up I said let’s go for coffee after and we’ll talk

shes now literally obsessed with me. We’re best friends. I’ve saved her life - before she met me she was about to end her life and now she’s never been happier. She told me her version of her life story and I felt sorry for her as she ended up on the streets at one point

over the last year I’ve put up with going for coffee but strictly limiting it to an hour

now she tells everyone WE this and we that and we’re so close. errr we’re not and the only we I have is with dh

things came to a head when my husband got rushed to hospital with a stroke in his 40’s. Mega fit guy. Totally blindsided us

we were in the hospital and due to my mum’s big mouth finds out where we are as she tried phoning me and I didn’t answer

she turns up at the hospital as she was so worried about me

i told her over and over to leave and she just sat with us - she kept hugging me and saying I’m so worried. I literally said please leave, you’re not helping

we go into doctor get told it’s a stroke and get sent out to process this and then go back in to discuss it once we’ve had time to think of questions. I can’t see her so pad off to get dh a drink

come back and dh and her are walking towards me - he says we can go

we get in the car and he explodes - he was processing that he’s had a stroke (minor) and she starts touching him and talking to him about her tia and all her health issues. He couldn’t cope so discharged himself as he asked her to leave him and she said no - she literally would not go

she bullies her way to getting what she wants. She is on the phone to the police over and over. She called the police this week as a lady called her dog back from that horrible woman (they’re neighbours). She’s at war with her entire family except she’s booked a week at the same hotel for the same week as her son &his family

se last year booked the same flight and hotel as her daughter and ex husband

shes trying to get a neighbour done for stalking as he has a security camera up and it’s facing the car park where she parks

there are hundreds more examples of her really disordered behaviour

ayway today was looking forward to my gym class as it’s the one she doesn’t go to and I get a text saying I’m coming down to meet you for coffee

I go into a full blown panic attack and cancel the class

i love the gym I go six times a week and it’s literally turned my life Round

if I unfriend her she’ll make my life a living hell as I’ve witnessed what she does to those she perceives have done her wrong. She’ll go full out boiler bunny on me. I’ll have to leave the gym too which I don’t want to do

my adult daughter and dh think I should get an injunction out against her

i just don’t know how to extract myself from this toxic mess without it getting even worse as she’s mentally unhinged (not joking - she’s a full blown boiler bunny)

I genuinely think you need to call the police and speak to them. Find out if she had form. She sounds very unwell and quite dangerous in a Glenn Close Bunny Boiler kind of way.

She sound very Baby reindeer . If you haven’t already then get some good cctv .

You need to be firm with her, tell her that if she doesn't leave you alone you'll be contacting the police. Record the conversation and make sure you're in a public place (preferably the gym) so staff who will recognise her can witness her reaction if necessary.
Good luck!

Thank you. Yes she is a bunny boiler. Which is why I feel trapped. it’s not dealing with a normal person. My daughter is really worried for me (adult daughter) as is dh

Go to the police station today or otherwise phone them and report this person.

Allow them to deal with her; you cannot and should not. Have no further contact with her and block all her ways of being able to contact either you or your family. She latched onto you and is extremely manipulative. She could also be potentially dangerous.

OP she sounds like the kind of person who will eventually turn on you whatever you do. Somewhere down the line she will find a reason to turn. Cut contact now or you are only delaying the inevitable.

Contact the police if you have any concerns about her behaviour or concerns for your safety.

I’m visiting another gym tomorrow. I can’t go on like this. I’ve never experienced anything like it. Dh is home now and he said go look at this other gym, and is currently researching cctv as knowing her he thinks we need it

I would try to ease out gently rather than dump her overnight, just to soften the blow and avoid a major reaction. Lots of warm words but cool actions, you’d like to catch up with her but you’re busy, and dh’s health means you may not be around much…

Police now involved. She’s well known to them. New gym found!

Blimey
doesn’t surprise me that the police are already aware
she sounds terrifying

Flipping heck op she sounds mentally unstable

Good luck OP. Hope you manage to shake her loose without too much stress.