Are conventional relationships a thing of the past

[PlainJaneBrain]

I'm asking because I think I'm coming around to the idea that unconventional relationships work for some and I wonder could I adapt?

I split from my very long term OH 2 years ago, and ever since we've remained co-parents, close friends, living apart, occasionally sleeping together and the prospect of reconciling seems to be an On/Off topic. One day it looks promising, the next not so.

But I've read so much on MN about cheating, infidelity, ONS's it makes me think it's just so bloody commonplace that what's the point of committing to expectations that no one can guarantee they'll stick to, especially 'til death do they part'.

The way our split has panned out, although at first it was all very emotional and practically a bit messy, I really truly absolutely adore him and appreciate him more than ever, but also appreciate why he'd never want to commit to the conventional set up again. I feel I've almost got the best of both worlds, except I've got this nagging jealousy I never had before at the thought he might give to someone else what he gave me.

I hope that makes sense? I wonder if anyone has more experience of loving someone long term, but not being under the same roof.

The problem is you using MN to inform your view of the whole dating/relationship world.

The happy people with loving husband’s and great home life aren’t posting on here because they don’t need advice and would be accused of bragging but there are lots of us- me included.

I certainly wouldn’t lower my expectations of what I deserve based on what you see on here.

It's great that you've managed to come to such a civilised arrangement, OP. Well done, it's not easy.

As PP just said, don't give up on finding something more fulfilling. I did in my second marriage, although it took me several million years to get there! (worth the wait)

Aa @Mrsttcno1 says there are lots of ordinary people living ordinary lives free of hysterical reactions and angst.
It may also surprise some that they have had conventional weddings with aged grandparents uncles who don't get drunk and include children and babies in their celebration.

Relationships are fluid. Adults do what they do. it's mutual. If it's conventional or unconventional isn't it about what suits the individuals?
Personally I don't do conventional. My choice. When meeting someone this is discussed. If they don't like it they decide against it. Their choice. No one gets hurt.It's the mature thing to do.

No, I think people in very general terms, will still go in for those long term relationships with the mainly conventional milestones. I think what's changing is what comes after.

People are now splitting after 15, 20, 30 years together, where before they would have just hung it out by that stage. People coming out of long term relationships seem more open to adopting less conventional relationships, having done all that already, I think.

Exactly this.

The OP's situation seems perfect to me, cohabiting carries all kinds of stress.

Unconventional set ups can work but only if you are on the same page. You will have a lot of history together and although you have a 'living apart but together' kind of arrangement, which you say works practically, it's obvious you are still uneasy as you feel insecure.
If you are anxious about him being involved with others you really need to clarify your boundaries and make sure you both know the rules of your current set up. If you do still adore him (as you have said) then you may be fooling yourself about this working for you and you risk getting hurt.