As per subject heading dp can't seem to help himself from speaking to me like crap. He can't help raising his voice for something that could be said in a normal relaxed manner and I don't know what to do about it.
Latest incident was last night when on the phone to my boss, I gestured for him to take baby son from me so I could discuss work with boss and he gestured back he had his hands full. I admitedly was quite anxious to get back to phone and carried on holding him out to be taken to which he growled really loudly. I've got my hands full. Being really embarrassed at the thought boss may have heard how shit he had just spoke to me I gave him a look to which he snapped don't look at me like that.
After phone call I had an apology which was along the lines of I'm sorry but I didn't know it was your boss, he probably didn't hear, well are you stupid could you not see I had my hands full?
Similar incidents have happened previously. Its bad enough him snapping at me over practically nothing anyway but he doesn't even care if its in public. He has called me a moran before in front of mum and dad and friends of family, told me to f off in front off sister and brother in law to name a few occassions. Its ok saying sorry but how I can I stop this?. Sorry means nothing if its going to happen again, which of course he always say it wont until the nexst time. He has such a short fuse and now kids are getting older I'm especially getting sick of being spoken to like crap.
When I try talk to him about it I get responses such as you have said all this already, I've said sorry if your not going to forgive me then stop lecturing me about it. He does also tend to say that I can find someone else if I'm not happy. Why can't he understand that a sorry can not just make me snap into my happy self again.
In honesty I feel like he has spoke to me like shit so many times before and got away with it that he obviously thinks he can get away with it.
I do also feel like all he does it find fault with everything I do. He seems to have such a low opinion of me I don't know why hes with me?. He has admitted taking me for granted previously but still doesn't stop doing it.
I have put up with a lot of shit in the 7 years we've been together from forgiving the fact that he forgot to tell me he had a girlfriend when we first got together, to being tormented by his ex(he left her), to being tormented by his bestmate, he prefered ex as she was his partners bestfriend, to him getting steaming when I was pregnant with our 2 and a half year old daughter and telling me he wanted nothing to do with us. He was apologetic next day but it still hurts me to think about it. He wasn't much more support when pregnant with son either. If ever we were going somewhere he always made me seem like I was being really selfish if I didn't want to stay out really late and wanted him to go him with me. On the night son was born I asked mum if she could look after our daughter so that partner could go for a few pints with friends. My mum was staying with us and had brought daughter back having looked after her for a week. I had told partner not to be too late as daughter had been waking in the night and I didn't think it was fair to take P with mum having looked after her all previous week. Next day I found out he had got in at 5am having fallen asleep at friends. I really didn't want to argue as I knew it would upset my mum and she obviously didn't want to upset me so made light of it. The morning after giving birth when in hospital he was still moaning at me for the amount of stuff I'd taken in. Could he not give me a break within 24 hours of giving birth?. No obviously not. Later in the evening I had to go back to hospital as I didn't think everything was right down below. Although he went to the hospital with me all he could do was moan about being tired (probably because you was up until 5am this morning?).
On top of all this he never seems to want to socialise with me. We do things as a family but he'd never think to arrange for just the two of us to go out. Despite me saying we really need to do this. He says he prefers to spend time with his friends cause I'm always moaning and he already sees loads of me. Yes he does see fair bit of me but its in the house and he spends his time either in the bath, on the internet or reading paper. When we do go out it is usually always with his circle of friends and its always split between men and woman so we barey speak to each other then either. Last time we went out as a couple was christmas time and thats only because his sister paid for a meal for two for us.
He rarely shows me much affection anymore either. I can't sit on his knee without it hurting him etc. I always seem to be one making effort but never getting anything back. When do you just give up and learn that he isn't going to change at all?
He is good dad, I do trust him strangely enough even though he has lied to me on numerous occasions. What do I do?