My mum is in her mid 60s and has been married to her husband (not my father) for around 20 years.
Shortly after getting married (within just a few months of it), it transpired that her husband had a drink problem and took to punching holes in doors and smashing up furniture, that kind of thing. Mum approached the police (unbeknownst to him) and was offered all her options (about leaving), but decide to refuse their help or intervention. She chose to stay. He address the drinking but other issues have emerged over the years.
Over the years, she's "coped" with the marriage by frequent trips to the GP for anti depressant medications and referrals to counselling services. The police have also previously offered counselling with DA specialists.
Mum has eroded into pretty much a "shell" of a person who has been chronically depressed as a result of her marriage for most of the time she's been in the marriage.
My siblings have distanced themselves as it was affecting their own MH to see what she's been reduced to.
On the surface, her husband is very charming and actually has a good relationship with my DC. My DC (aged 7) enjoys spending time with my mum's husband and he reguarly takes him to football and swimming.
The reason my mum gives when I asks what makes her stay in the marriage is my DC. She claims my DC would be heartbroken if they split and she tells me she won't leave until my DC is grown up. Obviously this would be another 10 years.
So, my mum is quite willing to stay for another 10 years (potentially), just for the sake my DC. I've said that's a totally ridiculous reason to stay. I split from DC's father due to DV, and despite the young age, my DC seems to totally accept this and will likely thank me for it one day.
Meanwhile, I suspect my mum is seeing someone. He's an old friend that she's known for 30 years or more. Over the last few weeks, she's talked endlessly about this "friend", lets call him John. I always knew "of" John because he's a longstanding friend but up until the last month or so he was only ever mentioned in the context of Christmas card lists, family get togethers, that sort of thing. Now, my mum talks about him most days and is constantly messaging him on whatsApp. The other day whilst I was present, I saw something from him pop up on her whatsapp, saying "I love you" with some heart emojis.
Obviously, I'm happy if she's found love with this man who probably treats her well but I'm uneasy about the thought of her cheating on her husband or sneaking around with someone behind his back.
Do I say something to her?