Hi everyone, could really do with some advice please no nastiness or judgement I’ve enough of that at the minute.
recently diagnosed with adhd combined which makes a lot of sense now.
so basically me and my husband been together for 9 years married 5 years we have 3 children one isn’t his she’s to my first husband. He didn’t want the 3rd and treated me like utter garbage whilst pregnant I slept on the couch a lot! He was so upset he just didn’t want anymore he felt like an old dad. He now adores our 3rd and is a great dad 👨 I can’t fault him at all and treats my daughter well he can be snappy with her as she is adhd also and he finds it frustrating which I get.
I just feel like he hates me so one minute he’s lovely can’t imagine my life without you your amazing your this your that and than the next minute when I call him out on how sad or depressed he looks and feels me suddenly the worst person in the world im too impulsive I don’t give enough love I don’t do enough my dreams are too unattainable im always wanting to spend money and so on. I don’t know where I am! He also says I’m like loving a brick which is so hurtful. He never wants sex and that’s my love language but he’s always been like this from day 1 so I knew about his problems in that department. It’s so frustrating though he says he’s not happy he hates our life he’s says he’s sick of having no money and just basically hates it all which obviously makes me feel like shit. He works a lot from 7am till 5pm each day normally loves his work but hates it now.
I want to help I’ve tried but I just get shouted at or ignored or he just walks away from me I feel he might be depressed? I’m always thinking of him and how he feels but I’ve completely forgotten about myself. I work part time I also go to school through the week and I do all drop offs and pick ups as well as look after my youngest two days a week…oh and I have a air B&B that I clean too as I’ve just started this up it’s my flat and it’s going well.
so sorry for the huge essay there’s so much more to this I go to therapy every few weeks and really trying to help myself as I suffer from anxiety always have since a kid so if I’m suffering I get help. I feel like I’m just too much and shit person really, would love some advice?
x