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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Advice pls urgently

11 replies

paigelucyxx · 18/07/2025 10:34

Hey so I would like some advice. This is my first post on this app but I’m really struggling to be friends with a friend of mine. She is Just not a good person from what she’s been saying, and all my friends have said like she is awful and I agree. So basically the other night I told her if she has an abortion for the reason she’s having one then that’s wrong and she’s disgusting. Long story short. I’ve been trying to conceive for three years first round of Clomid didn’t work either. She’s just come off birth control to try for her 3rd So she’s very fertile so She will most likely be pregnant Before me and give birth before I’m even pregnant but basically, she turned around to me and answered my question because I said to her if you have a boy, are you gonna tell your mum and she said if I do the gender reveal test it comes back it’s a boy. The pregnancy won’t last long so there’s no point in telling her you already know what I’m gonna do if it’s a boy. She then proceeded to say hopefully, I get pregnant with a girl the first or second time because I don’t wanna have to keep getting rid of it as it’s not fair and then she said I have to wait six weeks for the gender reveal test and another week for results and if it’s not a girl, I have to wait another two weeks before I can conceive again. She then said, yeah, it’s not nice But when you want a girl, you have to do what you have to do, I then said to her you do realise they can’t legally do an abortion over gender so what are you gonna do? Just keep getting rid of boys that’s not right. She then said I didn’t know that, but they shouldn’t have to be a reason for abortion. They should just do it anyway no matter the reason. I am entitled to an abortion it’s my body. Doesn’t matter what the situation is if you wanna get rid of it then you can get rid of it so i turned to her and said i can see why they wouldn’t because that’s NOT a right reason to have an abortion it’s wrong and not normal at all but she ignored me, also I feel like she shoves it in my face that she’s fertile and that too, just struggling to be her friend she’s just so selfish mate

OP posts:
BellissimoGecko · 18/07/2025 10:36

Sounds like you don’t like her much, so why are you still in contact with her? Just stop seeing her and contacting her.

paigelucyxx · 18/07/2025 10:37

We was good friends once we have drifted apart but am I not allowed to be upset over what she said to a woman who can’t conceive?? lol okay

OP posts:
Mmhmmn · 18/07/2025 10:41

BellissimoGecko · 18/07/2025 10:36

Sounds like you don’t like her much, so why are you still in contact with her? Just stop seeing her and contacting her.

This. There’s no reason to keep her in your life other than masochism. You’ll be much more at peace with no awareness of what her plans or actions are. Just ignore or text her and tell her not to contact you any more and get on with your life.
Who knows why she has such a problem with boys - who really would want to know?

paigelucyxx · 18/07/2025 10:43

It’s because she has 2 boys already and she wants a girl as it’s her last pregnancy and Yh I ain’t going out my way to meet her and I won’t be supporting her if she gets rid over that she can handle it on her own

OP posts:
Mmhmmn · 18/07/2025 10:45

She might be very self involved or she might be trying to goad you and hurt you on purpose as her plans sound pretty extreme and unlikely. Either way the advice is the same - stop having her as a friend as it’s damaging you.

Kinneddar · 18/07/2025 10:46

I couldn't be friends with someone who thought like that. I certainly wouldn't have her in my life if I was ttc

Sounds like you'd be better off just ending the friendship

paigelucyxx · 18/07/2025 10:50

Yeahhh I been keeping my distance we haven’t met up for a year anyways, I’m deffo gonna just cut her off everyone said the same thing

OP posts:
BellissimoGecko · 18/07/2025 16:16

paigelucyxx · 18/07/2025 10:37

We was good friends once we have drifted apart but am I not allowed to be upset over what she said to a woman who can’t conceive?? lol okay

Yeah, you’re allowed to be upset, but why are you giving it so much head space?

Are you very young? You sound it.

paigelucyxx · 26/08/2025 15:45

@BellissimoGeckoi am 24 actually I’m not a child, been TTC for 3 years! Wym why am I giving it so much headspace?? I literally have fertility issues so why wouldn’t I be upset over it?

OP posts:
Zanatdy · 26/08/2025 15:49

Absolutely shocking that someone would do this. I would be ending my friendship with someone who could do such a thing.

paigelucyxx · 26/08/2025 15:51

@ZanatdyI have cut her off oh she’s also pregnant now btw!! First try too she even told me if I was to say I’m not jealous she would know it’s a lie too and said to me she’s not gonna tell anyone if she gets rid so she’s basically gonna tell me she’s had a miscarriage when she’s gone and had an abortion she’s sick

OP posts:
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