Im 29, happily married, and recently became a mum (my baby is 6 months) for the first time. I lost my own mum unexpectedly at 23, we were incredibly close, and it was a huge loss. Over time, I became quite close to my in-laws, especially after getting pregnant, as they were very supportive during my pregnancy and early postpartum months. I don’t have much support from my own family, so their presence meant a lot.
However, things have shifted. After a situation happened SIL visited unannounced, which upset me and so she got offended as it is normal in her culture, and ever since our relationship grew awkward. I was just shocked to see her at my door step that’s all and then told her to come in but was quite quiet for a couple minutes then I pulled myself together to make her feel welcome and moved on from the situation. I then found out she was extremely upset by my reaction at the door (I was genuinely so surprised).
Later, after moving in with my in-laws temporarily to save money, a minor argument between me and my husband (nothing major I was just tired and snapped at him) spiraled when his family got involved. The following day my father in law said I should support my husband more (literally came out of no where), MIL made some harsh comments about how I should be coping better as it’s just one child I’m raising (disguised as “banter”), which really hurt. Though we “made up,” she’s been cold and distant since, despite my efforts. It hurts because 8 years of knowing her I never knew she would make a comment like that to me and never ever in a million years thought we would argue.
Now, I feel a real sense of loss. I relied on them emotionally, and the dynamic has changed. We’re planning to move out soon due to the tension, but I can’t help feeling sad and wondering if I somehow caused all this even though, deep down, I don’t think I did