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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Should I submit an application for child maintenance?

3 replies

VenusJupiter · 16/07/2025 21:42

Have already sought advice here regarding the situation ( once again thank you for all your help and advice ).
Leaving my abusive stbx who is trying to get me to sign for 50 50 child care ( won't be signing anything) before I leave.

Just wondered if I should apply now to the cms?

OP posts:
Bittenonce · 16/07/2025 21:45

If childcare is split 50/50 - there’s no CMS payable. Will he really take them minimum 3 days every week?

itsnotalwaysthateasy · 16/07/2025 21:46

Yes of course you should. He is only applying for 50/50 to get out of paying this.

However, if he does have your DD/DS 50% of the time. who is going to pay for childcare, clothes, contact lenses, school dinners etc?

VenusJupiter · 16/07/2025 22:11

Sorry DD is only 3 months old ( 4 in 2 weeks), sorry for not being specific.
I am not allowing him to see her until there's something in place. Seeing WA on Friday. He refuses to give me her passport . He is a British citizen, but Nigerian heritage and grew up there. Said it's no concern of mine if he applies for a Nigerian passport. He turned my mum completely against me. Only dad knows what he is really like. He is awful.
He told GP that he was 'concerned' I might have PND and called the GP saying I am rough with the baby... HV made a gp appointment for me and saw how I interact with DD and I told GP why would he leave me home alone and go to work if I was such a concern to our DD.. He really is something. Constantly shouting at me putting me down , silent treatments, saying I need to earn love and respect ... list goes on. He was telling everyone behind my back there's something wrong with me. I was referred also by HV to a charity for mums and babies. Sat with the woman and she said I do not have PND. I attend to my baby, play with her, take her out , do my make up etc. He really is very nasty.
Phoned WA and have meeting on Friday. They also referred me for legal advice.
I think supervised contact is what he deserves for now because he is gonna make everything impossible for me. He had a smirk on his face today and implied that he can still come to where I'm gonna be living and throw his weight around.
He works two jobs and has already told job 1 that he is getting the baby 50% of the time!!! He really is something . All to avoid paying child support. He plans to wfh and look after a 4 month old. Not on. Not risking it. He is truly evil. Turned my family against me all because I serve no purpose to him anymore. Total narc!!!! Sorry I'm angry tonight..

Thank you for the replies ❤️

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