So about 9 months ago I developed a crush on a colleague. I’d always got the impression he liked me a bit. We’re both married with children. At first it was just a bit of fun. The odd flirtatious look etc. Then he began to be a bit more open - on a few occasions really held my gaze. We went on a work trip and he was really flirty. I began to really really like him and think about him all the time. I felt better about myself, about how I look and my personality. I have often had really low self esteem and I was really flattered that this guy (he’s super confident/fun/‘cool’ etc) thought I was special.
I hate the fact that I think about him all the time. I just can’t stop it and it’s like I’m unwell almost. It makes me really depressed. I don’t want to cheat on dh but often I fantasise about doing so. Dh loves me very much I know. We went through a tricky patch a couple of years ago and I struggle to forget some of it, which perhaps is unrealistic.
anyway today at work I was working on my own in the office and he walked in. We’re hardly ever alone together at work. (If ever.). I felt very nervous and we had a brief, perfectly friendly chat but he didn’t make any effort to stay and talk or ask me questions. He then walked out. I feel like such a fool. Basically he’s been flirting with me a bit for…I don’t know what reason. Whereas I’ve been building him up to be this perfect guy and actually it means nothing to him.
talk some sense into me. I genuinely think I’m going a bit mad.