My husband (58)after 25yrs cocaine user (serious last 3 yrs), workaholic and alcoholic, a liar coercive control and bullying. I have not been in love with him for 10 years because of his behaviour and haven’t kissed him for 15 years because of his lies coming out of his mouth last year I met another man who was wonderful. My father died. My best friend died and a good friend was seriously ill. I told my husband about my affair. I try to have some space from him. He spent months trying to persuade me to give him sexual favours. I have finally moved out for the last five weeks. I feel great. He has over the last four months given up the cocaine, he still drinks. He has promised to stop working and take me on holiday. The problem is unfortunately I feel I’m done and I’ve built up too much of a wall to protect myself and I do feel I still love my affair partner. I have told my husband I am leaving. I need to be on my own But he keeps trying to persuade me to stay. Saying I owe it to him and my adult children and the rest of the extended family to try again and try the new him but my heart’s not in it should I try again and risk getting in this position and maybe never getting out ever again I am stuck between pleasing my family Most importantly my mother and my husband‘s family but the rest of my family think I should leave. I just need the backup to tell me I’m doing the right thing leaving and giving myself a chance for a happy life and not letting him have the opportunity to have another go and risk getting back into the same position Again I’m 54 and I feel like if I don’t go now I won’t ever go any help or ideas would be gratefully received