Mother in law advice!

[My3boysMyworld]

Hi guys, abit of a situation that I’ve been dealing with for the past 12 years, abit long winded and would love some advice as I feel stuck and I’d like an outsiders advice. So I’ve been with my partner for 12 years, we have three little boys, 9,7 and 1. So I got with my partner and his mum came across really lovely and so did his sister. We had our first baby and moved away, not far about 45 minute journey, then had our second child. I did struggle when having two due to oldest being autistic so a 2 year old and newborn. One day she rang my partners phone and could hear 2nd child screaming… he was always screaming but is diagnosed with autism and adhd now, I was out having my hair done, she then texted me to say I alway leave my children with my partner and I can’t cope and I was a shit mum, I did tell her to politely F off, after this about every other month she would ring my partner and say “ oh I’ve heard your girlfriend is slagging me off” he would believe it and it would cause a row, even though when asked who said it she could never confirm and I actually wasn’t talking about her to anyone, she’s done this for ages now, my partner stands by me now, but one minute she’s at my house then next day I get a random text to say I’m not welcome at her house cause I’m a bitch, it honestly boggles my mind, when I ring to ask why I’m blocked. It comes across as manipulative and she knows that it makes me anxious. My partner says not to talk to her. She also gets very jealous say if I have a new handbag or new appliance, she will always ask how much and then say “ I wouldn’t have bought that for that money” but then also says she’s had Botox for £160, well I wouldn’t have that. We moved into our new build house and she said her daughter should of had the house as she needed it, well we have our own house and her daughter has a council flat but it’s always her daughter should have it all and she doesn’t like when someone has better then her or her daughter, her daughter being my partners sister, also she has asked for my oldest son to stay at her house in the 6 weeks holidays I’ve said no to my partner and for him to tell her no, for some strange reason again I’m blocked as I tried to call her and then my partner called and got straight through, we tested it a few times, would you have your son staying somewhere that you couldn’t even call or text to ask how they are, grandparent or not? She’s very on/off like the weather and I don’t like it, always making rude comments to me or saying my kids should have stuff but my kids have everything and to be honest I don’t need to buy my children with love, I’m at the point of cutting her off completely and just letting my partner deal with her and I won’t be but I also don’t want my kids around someone who doesn’t like me either as I think that will affect them.

I would go no contact,that's just poisonous from her ,
And I wouldn't want her near my kids either

I really want to do no contact and block her, but I need to get the courage to block her, but when she realises I blocked her she will cause another row and then it’s all up in arms, but then I don’t really care as she has me blocked and I haven’t said anything or caused a row, what’s good for the goose is good for the gander right? If I say to my partner I don’t want her to have anything to do with the children he won’t like that, don’t get me wrong she only probably sees them once every 2 months but I’ve also picked up that she favours our oldest over the other two, she even told me my second child was a manipulator at the age of 7, well it must run in his genetics from her then…. Didn’t say that to her but I wanted to. If I don’t speak to her then my partners sister gets her head up her ass aswell and doesn’t talk, although I don’t give a shit.

I wouldn't have anything to do with her. Let your partner handle her completely. Meanwhile, I'd just affirm anything she says. When she asks how much your handbag is, give her some crazy sum. "Oh, just £700." If she tells you you're a terrible mother, "Sure am." If it doesn't ruffle you it loses power and that will annoy her no end.

You have A DH problem...he doesn't have your back.

Believe it or not he doesn’t like her much either and agrees with me but if he says something to her she gets her head up her ass and slags him off to all the family and that just makes him feel like shit. He says it woke bother him one bit if I don’t talk to her or his sister, but I know then he won’t really talk to her and then it will be “ your not talking to me because of your wife” it’s like she finds a issue in everything but can’t see the issue is he behaviour and how she makes people feel, I like straight talking and knowing there I stand with people but she is something else, one minute she loves you the next your a bitch and not welcome in her house, and no she doesn’t have mental health she is just a manipulative weirdo in my eyes.

You have to be at peace with being blamed and let it go. I decided to leave my DH's family to him. He didn't talk to them either when that happened. Of course, it was all my fault. Everything was always my fault anyway, so nothing actually changed other than that I wasn't beating my head against a brick wall trying to make things nice with them.

She's really immature. A grown woman behaving like a bully in the playground. She's not worth your time and your partner's not bothered either, so let her carryon and don't let it bother you. Life's too short to have people like her ruin it.

Dammed if you do and dammed if you don't, I see with your MIL. All this aggravation for what? Step back inject some peace into your life. Who knows, you step back, what’s the bet she might ‘play’ nice. Shudders, step back.

thats the word I was looking for “ bully” it’s definitely like that as she knows how it makes me feel as she has been told. She will always run to her daughter and twist is and of course daughter believes it. Favours daughter over her two sons and her daughter’s children also.

My partner says to me it’s jealousy and I do believe that, from the comments she makes and reading between the lines I can only but think it’s because we have what she didn’t. She has 3 children with 3 different men, I have never said anything as it doesn’t bother me and each to their own, also that we have stayed together and also that her daughter has 2 children by different men, it’s almost like she will pick on me cause I’m different to her almost like she wants to be the one who better but that doesn’t interest me as it’s petty. I’ve never thought I was better than her. It’s jealousy, we’ve asked in past for her to baby sit and her reply is “ there is two of you, think about your sister who has two kids and nobody to help” yes there is two of us but we would still like a break. She’s unruly and everyone must be sympathetic to her daughter, which I’m not, you make your bed you have to lie in it, it’s not our problem or our children’s problem that her daughter chose a pair of idiots to father her children unfortunately.