A few weeks ago, I invited my partner’s mum over to our home to celebrate his birthday. I’ve always made an effort to be kind and inclusive, even though I’ve had a few reservations about her past behavior. That night, she’d been drinking while on medication, and things spiraled fast. She had what I can only describe as a psychotic meltdown — completely out of nowhere, she started hurling accusations at me.
She claimed I’d had an abortion (completely false), called me manipulative, and accused me of being obsessed with work. None of it was remotely true. She was screaming, volatile, and it was honestly terrifying to witness — and devastating to hear those things in front of my partner on his birthday.
The next day, she had no memory of what happened. No real apology, no acknowledgement of the damage she caused. I’ve since cut her off entirely for my own wellbeing. I don’t feel safe around her, emotionally or otherwise. But I’ve encouraged my partner to continue seeing her on his own if he wants to. I’ve been clear that I’m not trying to come between them — I just can’t engage with someone who can cause that kind of harm and pretend it didn’t happen.
He’s been understanding, but I know this situation is hard for him too. I love him, but I’m struggling with what this means long-term. I’m also angry — I opened my home to her and this is what I got in return. Part of me wonders if I’m being too harsh by cutting her off completely, but another part knows I’m simply protecting myself.
Has anyone else been through something like this? How do you navigate boundaries with a partner’s parent when things cross into serious dysfunction?