Did you go back to your maiden name?

[Belladog1]

I separated from my husband earlier this year. We haven't divorced yet but we will at some point.

My new partner can't believe that I'm not going back to my maiden name. I explained that I'm happy with my name, having used it for the majority of my life. I'll only change it again if I re-marry.

He thinks I'm crazy. I think it's normal.

What did you do?

Ive thought about this a lot, and I’d keep my married name as it’s the same as my kids. Like you said , it’s been my surname longer than my maiden name was.

I wouldn’t have changed it in the first place! But I agree with your new DP. Why would you want the name of someone you’re no longer with?

I've thought about this and I'd definitely keep the name as I'd never want a different name to my child

I wouldn't change purely as its my DC name. However, if not for that fact - I definitely would.

You can have any name you like OP, it’s entirely up to you.
I chose to revert to my birth name and DD has now followed. It’s a whole new thread as to why!

I changed back to my maiden name, reason for this is I didn’t have a chance to change bank details etc into my married name because we was only married for 6 months and he cheated on me!!!

Divorced 10 years ago, I've kept my married name. I wanted the same name as my children while they were dependents. I may change back to my maiden name once they're adults, but I might not. I have no real attachment to either tbh, and the admin hassle of changing it doesn't overly appeal.

I divorced 12 years ago and have been married to someone else for ten years but kept my exes name as wanted same sur name as my children. I also have a research profile with that name.

I went back to my maiden name after my divorce from my 1st husband, and ive kept my maiden name this time, despite remarrying.

My mum has been married a few times, and changed her name each time, but she kept her married name each time until she remarried. I find it a bit odd, especially since shes been with her partner for about 25yrs now, not married, but she still has her ex husbands surname. Its up to her I guess.

I kept the name as I wanted it to stay the same as my child's. I remarried when they were 19/20 and changed it then.

The only person who had an issue with me still he having my ex's surname was the woman he committed adultery with. Weird.

Thank you for the replies.

I've had my name for 33yrs. It's kinda all I've known. I had this name before the dawn of email and everything online and I can't imagine the stuff I'd have to change if I went back to my maiden name just for the sake of it. If I remarried then I'd gladly change it.

Maybe also it helps that my husband and I are still friends. We didn't end things under a cloud or cheating etc ....

But my current partner thinks I'm crazy to even consider not changing it back. But I can't even remember not being my current name. Its my name, its who I am.

Same. Wanted to keep the same name as ds and, as an academic, wanted to keep a consistent publication profile.

Also, it's a total fucking hassle to change everything. Did it once, not bothering again!

I changed back to my maiden name. I wanted zero connection between him/his family and me.

When our DC reached 16, they changed their name to mine too.

My husband and I separated over 20 years ago - not divorced - and I still use his name. No children to consider. I couldn't be bothered going back to my original name, and it was a name I had to repeat and spell all the time so not worth the hassle.

I kept my married name. At the time, it seemed the simplest thing to do given the amount of paperwork around divorce, buying a new property etc. Plus all my main certificates such as degree, post grad qualifications were in my married name. I always intended to sort it out later but 25 years later, really not that bothered.

When I divorced my first husband I reverted back to my family name and kicked myself for ever changing it and my title. Silly of me, but I was young and naive.
Now remarried and a Ms my family name. So much better!

Why on earth would anyone want to keep the name of their ex husband.

but then again I never changed mine when I married so I don’t have this dilemma

I reverted back after my divorce and when I remarried I kept my original name. It now seems crazy to me that women ‘change their names’. It’s seems so archaic now.

I'll repeat it for the hard of understanding:

I couldn't be bothered going back to my original name, and it was a name I had to repeat and spell all the time so not worth the hassle.

I couldn't give a flying fig what you or anyone else thinks - I will call myself what I want to.

@Belladog1its interesting that you say it’s my name, it’s who I am. But also that if you remarried you’d gladly change it.

I would use my birth name. I can see where your new partner is coming from. There’s an ownership of taking someone’s name that makes me feel uncomfortable.

It's really up to you, OP. And - the practicalities of changing the name after many years are not worth it.
Separately - I think your new "partner" of only a few months should not be having any opinion on it. He has only been around a minute and already trying to have a claim over you? Or, at a very least - trying to tell you what you should do....

Anyway - I never changed my name and have a different surname to my kids. Not that I particularly like my father, but it's a name I have grown up with and it's my name now. Not changing it for any other man's.

Perhaps you could explain to him that women are allowed to own names as well as men - we don’t just borrow them. Does he realise it’s 2025?

(maiden name is a hideous term.)